If you want your man to help you in the kitchen
Just borrow his phone torch
he’ll be following you up and down

relationship breakups doesn’t hurt much like
when ur crush see you on a taxi stop
waiting for your mom with a wheelbarrow…

An Aeroplane cleaner was cleaning
the pilot’s cockpit when he saw a
book titled, “HOW TO FLY AN
AEROPLANE FOR BEGINNERS.
Volume 1

He opened the 1st page which said: “To start the engine,
press the red button..” He did
so, and the airplane engine
started.. He was happy and
opened the next page…: “To get the airplane moving, press the blue button..” He did so and the plane
started moving at an amazing
speed… He wanted to fly, so he
opened the 3rd page which said:
“To let airplane fly, please press
the green button..” He did so and the plane started to fly…He was excited…!!
After 20 minutes of
flying, he was satisfied and
wanted to land so he decided to
go to the 4th page… and page 4
says; “To be able to know how to land a plane, please purchase
Volume 2 at the nearest book shop! ”

He will be buried tomorrow.

never attempt anything without complete information

Family WhatsApp groups are boring, lazy and dead. Wait until one mess up and see how everyone will be active in seconds⏰
Even your late Aunty who died 7 years ago will be commenting on her blackberry from her grave

I prayed hard last night and asked God to remove all the fake things in my life.. And guess what?? I can’t find my Timberland boots 😭😭😭😭

TEMBISA to Joburg=32 km
Joburg to TEMBISA =32 Km 👍
.
Monday to Friday =5 days
Friday to Monday =2 days 😏😱
Mara why 😒🤔
.
-This must be Witchcraft

Your boyfriend who failed mathematics is complaining
about you having stretch marks.
Tell him that those are the only marks he will get

A Teacher used to say write an essay about the Day
you will Never Forget,
after she Give you 17/50 As if she was there on that Day.

South African police be like “Shut up and start talking wena mahn

If your name is Lucky just know that you escaped Abortion..

People in relationships be like:
“Awww baby you make me so happy.”😍
~•~
But the day they break up they be like:
“Finally happy.”

A Zulu man went to an electronic
shop.
He asked the shopkeeper; What is the
price of this television?
The shopkeeper replied; We don’t sell
our products to the Zulu people .
Zulu man again came the next day after
cutting his beard.
He asked; What is the price of this
television?
The shopkeeper replied; We don’t sell
our products to the Zulu people.
The next day Zulu man came with a
different face and asked; What is the
price of this television?
The shopkeeper replied; We don’t sell
our products to the Zulu people
Zulu man got irritated and asked the
shopkeeper; How do you recognise
me everytime?
The shopkeeper replied; Because this
is not a television. It is a microwave
oven.
One word for Zulu man