Got a friend request from a girl
“Rejected it”
Why should only girls have all the fun?
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Being an ancestor can be so painful,
imagine being an ancestor,
then someone come to ask you to bless them with CARS…….
but while on Earth you didn’t own a wheelbarrow
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If you see me drinking Gordon’s straight from the bottle – no dash, this december, please mind your own business. 💀
I know what I’m doing.
It’s been a rough year.
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Being broke is tough..
I once bathed with sunlight liquid.
Went to town and it rained,
there I was, covered in bubbles in front of everyone 😣
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piece of advise to the ladies…
If a guy takes you out for a romantic date on Tuesday and Wednesday nights this season instead of watching the UEFA Champions League, it’s not love., he’s a Chelsea fan. Be advised!!
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Every Woman is a wife material
but some materials are giving to the wrong tailor.
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Xolie grew up in Mbare. She went to law school in London. After her studies she decided to go back to Harare, because
she could be a big lady there.
There she opened her new law office. The first day, she saw a man coming up to her office and decided to make a big impression. As the man came to the door, Xolie pretended to be on the phone and motioned the man to take a seat. Xolie said into the phone: “No. Absolutely no. You tell those clowns in New York that am not travelling all the way that side to settle the case for less than a million bucks. “Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear the case next week. “I’ll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support.” Okay. Give the State Prosecutor my regards and …”
The visitor sat patiently as Lady X rattled instructions. Finally, Xolie put down the telephone and said: “Im sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I’m very busy. What can I do for you? “The man said: “I’m from Tel One … I’ve come to connect your phone
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Sdumo : Do you think a woman can turn you a millionaire ?
Skebhe : yes only if you are a billionaire
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My girl just texted me:
” babe, I’m coming by your place, and
when i get there i want u to make me wet”💦
–
I got 5 Buckets full of water😷
She’ll know me when she gets here
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Dating 2000s Is All Fun And Crazy Until When She Dumps you She Be Like:
“When We First Met u Were Custard,🔥 Time Passed By and you Turned Into Mustard💔… But In The End you Were A Bastard… Its Over!!!” 😮
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Girls be like “men are dogs,men are dogs”now you are pregnant with a baby boy and you are starting to say “my handsome child” no my sister that’s puppy
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Slim girls who always go for jogging at dawn, what do you want to lose again…
Your life???😄
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*Chinese couple living in Africa gave birth to a black Baby. In anger, husband asked the wife …. Chi, why Baby black? She replied , we live in Africa, no Electricity… Me hot, U hot , sex hot … Baby burnt.*🤣🤣
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What Is The Difference Between Men And Women?
1. A Successful Man Is One Who Makes More Money Than His Wife Can Spend. A Successful Woman Is One Who Can Find Such A Man.
2. Men Wake Up As Good-Looking As When They Went To Bed. Women Somehow Deteriorate During The Night.
3. A Man Will Pay $2 For A $1 Item He Wants. A Woman Will Pay $1 For A $2 Item That She Doesn’t Want.
4. A Woman Marries A Man Expecting He Will Change, But He Doesn’t. A Man Marries A Woman Expecting That She Won’t Change, And She Does.
5. There Are Two Times When A Man Doesn’t Understand A Woman Before And After Marriage.
6. A Woman Worries About The Future Until She Gets A Husband. A Man Never Worries About The Future Until He Gets A Wife.
7. To Be Happy With A Man, You Must Understand Him A Lot And Love Him A Little. To Be Happy With A Woman, You Must Love Her A Lot And Not Try To Understand Her At All.
8. Any Married Man Should Forget His Mistakes. There’s No Use In Two People Remembering The Same Thing!
9. A Woman Has The Last Word In Any Argument. Anything A Man Says After That Is The Beginning Of A New Argument.
10. Women Look At A Wedding As The Beginning Of Romance, While Men Look Aat A Wedding As The Ending Of Romance.
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A husband and wife noticed that their little boy’s penis was a little too small so they took him to the doctor. They expressed their concerns to the doctor. The doctor said to feed the little boy lots of toast. The next morning, the wife gets up really early and makes a huge stack of toast. When the little boy comes down to breakfast, the mother says,’ Take the top two slices. The rest are for your father.
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Remember back when you were a kid and you
thought your 25 year old unemployed cousin
wasn’t serious about life? Look at you now!😭😭😂
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