ways to die in Africa

1.loosing your mom’s Tupperware during school trip 😕
2.eating the meat that was reserved for your father😕
3.taking out new faduku without your mom’s permission😕
4.using glasses and cups that are placed in room divider😕
5.admitting that you are 3yrs older in a taxi and your Mom end up paying full price😕
6.not going to your room when sex scene is shown on generation 😕
7.calling your mom by her name by mistake😕
8.not finishing your pap after you have eaten the meat😕
9.wearing weekend clothes during the week😕

the list still go on

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Some pics they look like they captured them with CCTV camera

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Just met someone and we exchanged numbers,
Within 20 minutes she sent me a text saying
“baby I can’t live without you

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There Is ” My Bundle of Joy ” n then there is
” My sack Of Shit ” two Different kids

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If you think somebody is giving you a fake numbers,
read it back to them incorrectly. See if they’ll correct you.

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This guy comes back 4rm da toilet, when a women says to him, “Hey, you have left your GARAGE door open”!” As the man is zipping his fly up, he says with a big smile,”Did you see my big black hummer?” The woman replies, “Nope just a MINI COOPER with two flat tires.”

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At my funeral there will be no food, only tissues.
It’s simple, you came to cry my brother..

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Dear GIRLS…! When a guy adds u on facebook, it means he wants to b ur frnd not ur husband…That’s y its called a frnd request… not a proposal !!!…And when a guy likes ur status he likes your status…he s not trying to impress u or flirt with u …When a guy likes ur picture, that…means he likes ur picture not you so stop getting over excited

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My sister I’m warning you,Never date a Guy with two Legs👣

He might run🏃 away when you get Pregnant(

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On the 1st of april😀😀,
i ran into a barrack shouting thief thief thief…
the soldiers came out gallantly looking for the thief…
so i tld dem april fool😀😀😅…
i will continue the story wen dey discharge mhe frm hospital

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Someone will cheat today because of food..
Please brothers FEED your girlfriends

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If You Paint With Rs. 40,000 Royal Paint,

Your Home Will Look Colorful.

But If You Drink Rs.400/- Royal Stag,

The Whole World Will Look Colorful.

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Sir Lesley: owk class, I want to see how creative you are; write a statement and put “Green, pink and yellow” on it
.
Sylvester: all the fruits that are Green, pink and yellow got the Same vitamins
Jabu: mxm, girls from hammanskraal are like chameleons, they got green eyelashes, pink mouth and yellow Neck
Admin : my phone was ringing saying “Green” “Green”, so I went there to Pick it up and say ” yellow!!”
One work for Admin

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People in relationships be like:
“Awww baby you make me so happy.”😍
~•~
But the day they break up they be like:
“Finally happy.”

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9 REASONS WHY I DONT WATCH NIGERIAN MOVIES..
1. A flash back plays 40 mins.
2. Millionaires have gate men instead of electric gates.
3. Females wake up with earings and make-up in the morning.
4. When petience ozokor wants to poison someone she first tastes the poison but never dies.
5. They cut grass with a panga instead of a slasher.
6. 20years later in the movie but the family dog is still alive.
7. A ghost looks both sides before crosing the road.
8. People always ask for a menu at restaurants but end up ordering rice and chicken.
9. No matter how low your Tv volume is ,the movie will always make a huge soundooo…..!!

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Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in your hands all day.
Husband: I 2 wish that you were
a newspapers so I could have
a new 1 everyday.

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