Guys I know we might share jokes, laughing together and such. But my private life has nothing to do with you, so please I want the truth now! Who gave Cristiano Ronaldo my Contact Number?

RANDOM:
Did you know?…
If you send to a girl cash for transport to come over but she decides not come over and does not refund that money…
You can refer to Section 492(i) of the Criminal Procedure Act & file a case of theft under false pretence, & she can be jailed for up to 7 years?

Double heart attack message from my girl to me today:

1st SMS: Let’s break up now, it’s all over.😳😳😳

2nd SMS: Sorry, Sorry, Sorry! That was not for you

A wife was in bed with her lover🍆🍑 when she heard her husband’s key in the door.🙄
“Stay where you are,😏” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.✋”
Sure enough,😄 the husband lurched into bed none the wiser😶, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet🤔 sticking out at the end of the bed😶.
He turned to his wife: “Hey,🤨 there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on💁‍♂️?”
“Nonsense,🙄” said the wife, “You’re so drunk😏 you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there😆.”
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. “One, two,✌three👌, four.🖖 Damn, you’re right.🤣

I CALL my girl in front of the GATE so now she
is COLLGATE

Me as a husband introducing my wife and kids in a ceremony*

Me: this is my first wife
Her: and current wife
Me: and these are her kids
Her: they’re also his
Me: we keep it friendly
Her: on account of we’re still married
Me: and I love these kids like they’re my own
Her: because they are

Girl: I can do anything 4 u.
Boy: Will you die for me?
Girl: Yes.
Boy: Will you delete ur Facebook account 4 me?
Girl: Go home Bro, Ur mother might be getting worried.

Lady patient to the Doctor inside his examination room “Doctor can you please call my husband inside, I am not feeling comfortable. ”
Doctor – “Trust me lady, I am a Doctor and I am a Gentleman.
Lady patient – “No that’s not the issue. Your receptionist is alone outside and my husband is neither a doctor nor a gentleman…
He is a Pilot.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered the same

In the anaconda movie why the anaconda
doesn’t eat the camera man?

The pain of opening a
“I need a favour” message by mistake😩