I HAVE A FRIEND CALLED “JAY”☺☝
BUT IN SHORT I CALL HIM “J”

BAE means Bills And Expenses!!!!!

Dont argue with me

Nobody drinks alcohol
faster than someone who
didn’t contribute

Jealous baby mama will call you 02:25am
while you are deeply asleep with your new girlfriend
just to tell you that the baby is sleeping well
and she is breathing just fine😂😂😂😂

Some girls eeesh

I always put my music on shuffle
but then get annoyed when
it doesn’t play the songs i want

Have you ever looked so “stunning”
that you felt like you disrespected your outfit by getting on a Taxi

A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want.💛
💌
2⃣. 💜Yes, everything happens for a reason. But don’t use that as an excuse as to why you make stupid decisions.💜
💌
3⃣. 💚Life is too precious & too short to sit around regretting lost opportunities

When you want to leave the library but you can’t,
because the people you found there are still there..!!

I believe Pillow fight with bae must have ended in 2018.
This 2019, we are using frying pan!

Have you unfollowed certain people on social media and realized how much better your life is without seeing what they’re up to?

Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: Certainly not! There’s no proof of it.
Boss: Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral, he came here looking for you.

I finally saw her in the morning without Snapchat filters, Indeed Satan came to DECEIVE ME..
Yoh!! 😟

My gf was scruitinising my phone n now she is boiling water i think she wants to make me sum nice tea…. I can’t wait!!!