A month ago i gave my number to this beautiful girl😊😋……she said “I will text You when i get home”
I think she is homeless😕 cause i’m still waiting

A man sits next to a gal on a table in
the hotel
Man: hello madam?
Lady : what is it?
Man : sorry madam , just wanted to ask
what the time
is on your watch?
Lady: ehee …now you think my watch
is used as a
public clock huh? Go away and stop
wasting my time
Man : but madam
Lady :shut up!!!
* the man takes out his Apple phone
and makes call
Man :hello Naught Ashnaan
I just settled from Washington D.C can
you please tell
me what time it is right now so that I
set my clock to
the local time since it still reads
American time
*she
listens* ok thank you and today don’t
forget to come
for the galaxy tablet that you requested
* she listens*
since my girl is still in America bring
me a beautiful girl
to spend my money with tonight
Ok bye
Lady : sir the time is ..
Man : shut up

NOVEMBER BE LIKE
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30

DECEMBER
1 2 4 5 6
14 15 16 17 18 24 25
26 27 30 31

*COME JANUARY*
1 2 3
3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 4 4.1
4.2 4.3 4.4 5 5.1 5.2 5.3
5.4 5.5 5.6 5.7 6 6.1 6.2
7 7.1 7.2 7.3 7.4 8 8.1
8.2 8.3 8.4 9 10 10.1 11.2
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 30.1 30.2 30.3
30.4 31

Be careful how you spend your December salary. January has almost 60 days

Wife_* : *Beer won’t take you anywhere dear*
*_Hus_* : *Nobody drinks it as a mode of transport*

When they increase the price of alcohol
they must also increase the percentage!

*DATING A SCHOOL GIRLS* This is how I
stopped dating school girls: She came to my
place in a school uniform, looked into my
eyes and said, “Sweetheart, I have missed
my periods.” That’s when I fainted and
woke up in a hospital. I overheard her
telling the nurse that, “I didn’t know he care
so much about my school life, all I wanted to
tell him was that, I had missed my periods
for Maths and English,*(so that I could fine
time for him)* but he fainted before i could
finish.”

Visitors Of Nowadays Are Boring ,
They Leave Without Giving Us Any Money
Shame!

There’s always that guy who cares about your well-being
and makes you laugh 😍 …
And then there’s your Boyfriend. Yerr🙄

Leave that abusive relationship before you become a motivational speaker…

After high school, I decided to try to go to Medical School. At the entrance, we were asked to re-arrange the letters:-
*PNEIS*

to form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when active.

Those who wrote spine are now professional doctors while the rest of us who wrote what you thought about before you saw spine are now WhatsApp groups and Facebook group admins

A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said: “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.
Now after ten years it’s different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”
Said the counsellor: “Why complain. You are still getting the same service.
*In the corporate world they call it…..*
*Job Rotation*!”

Sometimes you have to call Bae and say “don’t cook tonight we are having KFC”🍜🍚🍛. Then switch off your phone and come back the next day.