WONDERS SHALL NEVER CEASE!!
*BREAKING* *NEWS* .
*Man sees his dead wife living with another man in Rusape*
A man from Chitungwiza James Chanda caused a heavy traffic jam today in Rusape. He said he travelled to Rusape a day before
yesterday being 3rd July 2018 to visit his one time colleague.
While walking along the street he stumbled on his wife who died two years ago in his home in Chitungwiza.
According to him, he said; ”my wife died of road traffic
accident two years ago and I
buried her in my home in Chitungwiza but I am shocked to see her with a man who was carrying her in a corrola(taxi). At first, I hesitated but I summoned courage and when I called her by her name, on turning to see me she disappeared”.
Our correspondent also said that the said man who was driving her in his corrola fainted on seeing what happened.
When he regained consciousness he narrated his own story saying that he had lived with her for 8months.He also said that she moved in with him after they met in a church and it was love at first sight. I have begged to meet her people and marry her. She told me she was all alone in town working but told me she was from Mutoko. I have many times requested that I meet her people but she would
decline saying that her people are evil. She decided we move in together before meeting her people after getting our firstborn child because she is seven months pregnant.

this world is tricky eh!.This is how I dreamt after eating sadza that’s why I don’t usually eat and sleep immediately😰😰
Thanks for reading…..have a good day

Welcome To The 21st century !!

*Our Phone – Wireless
*Cooking – Fireless
*Cars – Keyless
*Food – Fatless
*Tyre – Tubeless
*Dress – Sleeveless
*Youth – Jobless
*Leaders – Shameless
*Relationship – Meaningless
*Attitude – Careless
*Wives – Fearless
*Babies – Fatherless
*Feelings – Heartless
*Education – Valueless
*Children – Mannerless

Everything Is Becoming Less But Still Our Hope – Endless

*in Fact I Am – Speechless 😗😍😂

Jack Mabaso would be powerless
if he takes off his left hand glove

When you continuously beat your roommate on FIFA and he ends up saying ” At least I don’t repeat modules

When You Ask God To Remove All The Fake Things In Your Life
Then They Steal Your Nike Vapormax

Dear girlfriend!!!
Next time I ask you “how was your day?”,
Don’t give me “it was good” typpa shit.
I mean tell me everything. I want a detailed explanation!!

Today i wanna try something new
like sleeping on the ironing board

Just called out my younger sister to come and
turn up the volume for me and she came😀
I feel so grown up

*BAD LUCK* *is when the wind blows a
Girl’s skirt up, and the same wind blows
dust into your eyes.
And u end up seeing nothing*

I remember one time when I was in the supermarket😐
–
I saw a kid crying while throwing tantrums just because her mom didn’t buy her favourite chocolate🍫
–
Due to my clean heart..I bought the chocolate and ate it in front of the kid

If 1 girlfriend can make you happy. Imagine having 10 girlfriends…

overdose happiness

Bank is very pleased to announce that we are installing new Drive-thru ATMs where customers will be able withdraw cash without leaving their vehicle. (Other accounts can also utilize this facility) Male and Female procedures have been tailored to best reflect the behaviors of those particular groupings.

PROCEDURE FOR MALE CUSTOMERS:
1. Drive up to the ATM
2. Open the car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and press “enter”
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Close window
7. Drive away

PROCEDURE FOR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:
1. Drive up to the ATM
2. Reverse back the required distance to align car with ATM
3. Re-start stalled engine
4. Open the car window
5. Find handbag, empty all contents onto the passenger seat and locate card
6. Turn radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into ATM
8. Open car door to allow easier access to ATM due to excessive distance between car and ATM
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Ignore the sound of car horn from vehicle behind
12. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate diary with PIN written on the inside back page under “Date of Birth”
13. Enter PIN
14. Press “cancel” and re-enter PIN
15. Enter amount of cash required and check make-up in rearview mirror
16. Drum fingertips on steering wheel for one minute, then look at ATM and press “enter”
17. Retrieve cash and receipt
18. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate purse and place cash inside
19. Place receipt in back of cheque book
20. Re-check make-up
21. Drive forward two metres
22. Reverse back to ATM ignoring the sound of car horn from vehicle behind
23. Retrieve card
24. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate card holder and place card in an empty slot
25. Drive two or three kilometres
26. Release hand brake

If he no longer cleans his room when you visits…
My sister just know that you’ve been promoted
from side chick to main chick