Proof of God’s hand working,
is when the wind blows
a Girl’s skirt up, and the same wind
blows dust into your eyes. And u end
up seeing nothing.

keep playing your boyfriend like football ,
let another girl catch him like a goalkeeper ,
you will regret watching the highlight*

The Perfect Man: – wakes up at 5 am everyday – exercises everyday – makes his own bed – cleans his room – works sincerely – does not touch alcohol – helps in the kitchen – does not indulge in night life – always punctual – prays daily – hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.

Bushiri can see people’s future but
he couldn’t see the police🚔 Coming 🤔
how inconvenient.!!

*Couldn’t stop laughing*
Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor & decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn’t bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag. Few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetery gate & heard a voice saying: “One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You”….. He immediately sobered up & ran as fast as he could to a Church nearby, for the priest… “Father, please come with me. Come & witness God & Satan sharing corpses at the cemetery”
They both ran back to the cemetery gate & the voice continued: “One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You’………… Suddenly, the voice stopped counting & said: “What About The Two At The Gate?” You should’ve seen the marathon…

God made every person different, He got tired!
when time he got to China…

Today my mother In Law gave me a tea to drink then she winked at me.
Yaz Ive never been so scared like this to drink tea.

One evening last week, my wife and I were
getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat
up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I
just want you to hold me.”
I said, “WHAT?!! What was that?!”
So she says the words that every husband on
the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional
needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
physical needs as a man.” She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that
night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of
work to spend time with her. We went out to a
nice lunch and then went shopping at a big
department store. I walked around with her
while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which
one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each
outfit.”
We went on to the jewellery department where
she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She
was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think
she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know
how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s
fine, honey.” She was so excited.
Smiling with anticipation, she finally said, “I
think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted
out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw
dropped, “WHAT?”
I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch
with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was
going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I
buy you?

Drinking lots of water can help you mind your own business,
You will spend most of your time urinating instead of gossiping.

If your girlfriend don’t get on your nerves
it’s because she’s stressing her other boyfriend out

When you look at bae, do you now believe in the saying: “Dreams do come true” or the one that says: “To be happy accept what life gives you”..??