A gal with big eyes can read your messages even when ur Phone is locked

All wife materials are indoors now pressing their phones …plz show yourself???

NEVER say all he wanted was sex when all you offered was only sex
Have you ever tried to give him money and he refused it?!

A soldier ran up to a nun out of breath he asked:” May l hide under your skirt”? I’ll explain later.
The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked, “Sister, Have you seen a soldier? ”
The nun replied:”He went that way”
After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said,”I can’t thank you enough sister. You see l don’t want to go to war to Iraq.
The nun replied:”I understand completely.”
The soldier added:”I hope I’m not rude, you have a great pair of legs”
The nun replied:”If you had looked little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls! !!
I don’t want to go to Iraq either! !!

Yesterday my pressing iron stopped working so I went to my neighbour’s house and asked to borrow Thiers. They told me to come and use it in their house and I did.
Today my neighbour came and asked if I could borrow them the broom, so I asked them to come and use it in my house…
Tit for tat!!!!!!

MOM ::Why are your Results so Bad ??

Me ::Bad Things happen To Good people💔

Dear Ladies📝
If you could be could be a man for a day😉
What’s the first thing you would do?

*I think 🤔we have to start removing some people from this App,
especially those who can’t: reed, spale, or spick gud Engilis

A Journalist to a Doctor of a Mental Hospital:

journalist: “How do you determine whether to admit a patient or not?”
Doctor: “Well, we first fill a Bathtub with water till the top. Then give a Teaspoon, a Glass & a Bucket to the patient & ask him / her to empty the Bathtub.”
Journalist: “Obviously a Normal Person would use a BUCKET because it’s Bigger!”
Doctor: “No you Stupid, a Normal
Person would Pull the DRAIN PLUG!

Nurse, admit this Idiot in Ward No.8!

A guy in the store on his cell said “Susan, I’m in my car on my way” so I yelled “No he’s not” because nobody lies to Susan in front of me.

They Know They’re Ugly When They Post Pics And Add Captions Like:
👇👇👇
“My Smile Tho, My Nose Tho, My Eyes Tho, My Lips Tho, My Butts Tho”.

Men’s reasoning vs Women reality:
Pregnant Wife calls her drinking husband
Her: where are you!?
Him: I’m at the club, drinking beer
Her: The Baby is coming..
Him : No, no, no,!! He won’t be allowed, he’s under 18