Do You Remember The Day We Travelled In A
Car?🚘
●
I Put My Dog Out Of The Window,
You Put Your Face Out,😒
●
Then People Started Shouting
‘TWINS TWINS’
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Whoever cooked the food I ate in my dream,
please try to reduce salt n pepper next time
Thank you
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HE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
•Between 18 and 20, a woman is like Africa.
-Half discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful
with fertile deltas.
•Between 21 and 30, a woman is like America.
-Well developed and open to trade, especially for
someone with cash.
•Between 31 and 35, she is
like India.
-Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own
beauty.
•Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France.
-Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place
to visit.
•Between 41 and 50, she is like Yugoslavia.
-Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes. Massive
reconstruction is now necessary.
•Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia.
-Very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The
frigid climate keeps people away.
•Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia.
-A glorious and all conquering past but alas, no
future.
•After 70, women become like Zimbabwe.
-Everyone knows where it is but no one wants to
go there.
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When you’re trying to be nice to a baby in a Taxi and say
“Hello boy boy” and the mother says it’s a Girl..!
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Stupid Answers for Stupid Questions
1. Someone calls you at 2:am in
the night and ask you “are you
sleeping?”
Ans: no, I’m picking beans.
2. You’re making out with a girl
then you start pulling her pants
then she asks; what are you trying to
do?
Ans: I want to wash them for you
3. They see you coming out of
the bathroom, wet; ”did you just have
a bath?”
Ans: no, I fell into the toilet bowl
4. You standing right in front of
the elevator on the ground floor
going to your office, yet they ask;
”going up?”
Ans: no, I’m waiting for my office
to come down and meet me!
5. Your boyfriend comes home
with a bunch of flowers and you
still asks him; ”are those flowers?”
Ans: no baby, they’re carrots!
6. You’re in the queue at the
cinema to buy tickets, a friend
sees you and ask; ”what are you
doing here?”
Ans: I’m here to pay my school
fees!
7. When people see you lying
down with your eyes closed, they
still ask; ”are you sleeping?”
Ans: No! I’m practicing to die.
8. You went to a restaurant n the
waiter asks you: ”Plz can I get
you a table?”
Ans: No. I’m here to eat on the
floor.
9. Are you reading this post?
Ans:…..??????!!!!
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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math
problems when his teacher picked him to
answer a
question, “Johnny, if there were five birds
sitting on a
fence and you shot one with your gun, how
many
would be left?” “None,” replied Johnny,
“cause the rest would fly
away.” “Well, the answer is four,” said the
teacher, “but I like
the way you’re thinking.” Little Johnny says,
“I have a question for you. If there
were three women eating ice cream cones
in a shop,
one was licking her cone, the second was
biting her
cone and the third was sucking her cone,
which one
is married?” “Well,” said the teacher
nervously, “I guess the one
sucking the cone.” “No,” said Little Johnny,
“the one with the wedding
ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking.
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If she refuses to take you to her parents
Impregnate her.. Then Relax..
Her parents will bring her to you😂😂😂
Thank me later…..
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I need a wife as crazy as I am.
Imagine waking up in the middle of the night and we are both laughing cuz we forgot to pick our kids from school.
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Every problem comes with solution,
but my GF don’t have.
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If your boyfriend says “I will marry you when the time is right”
Ask him if he has ever seen a wrong time.
Has he ever seen 7:60pm???
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If you expect the world to be fair with you..
because you are fair, you’re fooling yourself.
That’s like expecting the lion not to eat you
because you didn’t eat him.
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Judge: “Where do you work?”
Defendant: “Here and there.”
Judge: “What do you do for a living?”
Defendant: “This and that.”
Judge: “Take him away.”
Defendant: “Wait; when will I get out?”
Judge: “Sooner or later.”
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Arguing with your dark skin guy is a problem
.
Him : You will never see me again
then he switches off the light 💡
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Gals who pretend to love the guy her soul Cherish
Why bordering when you see the guy with another gals
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i Hate How You Are Just Born Out Of No Where And Be Forced To Go To School And Get A Job 😠😡
What if i Wanted To Be A Duck ?
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Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?
Santa: U can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything.
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