Very important health tips: don’t eat
burgers, pizzas, chat, ice cream & chocolate
Without ME!
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Ladies, Lobola money should go straight to your bank account.
Your uncles were not there when relationship was showing you flames😂
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Rich having a convo with his crush😉
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Rich: Hi☺
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Her: hi, how was u doing?😮
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Rich: Im fine…😀
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Her: where did u born?😑
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Rich: where did i born? How?😨
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Her: Don’t be stupid😐…where did u borned yourself?😠
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Rich: Come again😯
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Her: which come?😟
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Rich: I mean repeat again😕
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Her: I said where did your borning begin?😠
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Rich: Im confused😐
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Her: Jeez! OK! Born! Born! Your mom’s bottom drop u out u cry “Nywe Nywe Nywe”😢…Place! Where your mom borneth u!😠😠
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Rich is still looking for a safe place where he can faint
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Some Girls are like bag of Weed,
you love her but you can’t introduce her to your parents
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They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents!”
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On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
“What’s the matter? Are you sick?”
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see an old lady standing.”
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Lady: Do you smoke?
Guy: Yes I do.
Lady: How many packs a day?
Guy: Three. Lady: How much per pack?
Guy: Ten dollars.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Guy: 15 years.
Lady: So one pack is $10 and you’ve been smoking three packs a day, which puts your monthly spend at $900. In one year it would’ve been $10,800. Correct?
Guy: Yes.
Lady: If you spend $10,800 a year, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your total spend at $162,000. Correct?
Guy: Yes.
Lady: Do you know if you hadn’t smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after calculating compound interest for the past 15 years, you could’ve by now bought a Ferrari?
Guy: Yes. Oh! Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Guy: Then where’s your fucking Ferrari?
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A man Phiri and his wife Pamela
never fought for 25 years
of their marriage.
A friend asked him how he had managed to
make it possible.
He narrated:
“We went for our Honeymoon in Australia
25 years ago
and while riding on a horse,
My wife’s horse jumped and my wife fell
down.
She got up,patted the horse’s back and said
“This is your first time”
After a while it happened again.
She patted the horse again and said:
“This is your second time”
The horse did it again the 3rd time,
She brought out a gun and shot the horse
dead
I Was so shocked and I shouted at her. . . . . .
. .”Are you crazy! What’s wrong with you?
Why did you kill the horse?
She smiled at me and said
“This is your first time”
Since then. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
My Mouth has been shut🙊
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A new Teacher Rainbow walked into a class
one morning and after greeting the
students, he asked, “Do you know what we
are going to be teaching today?”
The students all chorused, “No Sir!”
Then he said, “Then there’s no point
teaching you what you don’t know.” and he
left.
The next day, he came in and asked, “Do you
know what we are going to be teaching
today?”
They all answered, “Yes Sir!”
Then he said, “Then there’s no point
teaching you what you already know.” and
he left again.
The third day, he came in and asked again,
“Do you know what we are teaching today?”
Then the students answered randomly,
some saying yes and some saying no, then
Rainbow said, “Those that know should
teach those that don’t know”, and he left.
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As i struggle along nd they say i have nothing,
but they are so wrong.in my heart im rejoicing,
how i wish they could see.
Thank you lord fo your blessings on me
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Behind every angry women stands a man
who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong!
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A Real Girlfriend Kneels Down When
Answering Her Boyfriend’s Call
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Preaching the truth and nothing else but the truth:
.
Polygamy is not about a man having many wives. It’s about every woman having a husband.
AMEN.
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Stay Away From Friends Who Become Moody After Getting Paid..!
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Phone call from baby mama be like:
📞
Me: Hello😐
Her: I just wanna tell you that your son is sleeping😪
Me: 😒?!
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If you want an argument with your girlfriend to get intense,
just say “My mother was right about you”
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