Why are you concerned that someone isn’t a wife material
when your bank account isn’t a “Paying Lobola” material either.??

Good luck to learners who were doing Maths and Physics
the rest of you guys come on it’s not that difficult

My room mate just came back with her boyfriend,
they have been staring at me for the past 4 hours,
they think I will go outside to give them privacy.
I cannot support evil…

BANGWE: Honey, its like
the light in the toilet is now automatic!
WIFE: What happened?
BANGWE: When I opened the
door the light came on and after I urinated
and closed the door the light went off!
WIFE: Drunkard! you have gone to urinate
in the FRIDGE again!!!!!!

My sister I’m warning you,Never date a Guy with two Legs👣
–
He might run🏃 away when you get Pregnant(

Some of you put on too much make-up, we should just compliment your make-up manufacture instead of you. “You look good today AVON” 😂😂

Some idiot came to me and told me that
my ex is now fresh, cute, looks more sexy
and beautiful,, please my fellow friends if
they renovate my primary school does that
mean I should leave university and start
again?_*

*Those of you who used to call the teacher when there was a free period*, *hope you’re working at world bank*…nonsense😂

A man was walking
down the street when he was
accosted by a particularly dirty
and shabby-looking homeless
man who asked him for a couple
of cash for dinner.
The man took out his wallet,
extracted 1k and asked, “If I give
you this money, will you buy
some beer with it instead of
dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years
ago,” the homeless man replied.
“Will you use it to go fishing
instead of buying food?” the man
asked.
“No, I don’t waste time fishing,”
the homeless man said. “I spend
all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on green
fees at a golf course instead of
food?” the man asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the
homeless man. “I haven’t played
golf in 20 years!”
“Will you spend the money on a
woman in the red light district
instead of food?” the man asked.
“What disease would I get for
1k?” exclaimed the homeless
man.
“Well,” said the man, “I’m not
going to give you the money.
Instead,
I’m going to take you home for a
terrific dinner cooked by my
wife.”
The homeless man was
astounded.
“Won’t your wife be furious with
you for doing that? I know I’m
dirty and I probably smell pretty
disgusting.”
The man replied, “That’s okay.
It’s important for her to see what
a man looks like after he has
given up beer, fishing, golf and
s**

This thing of the sun coming out at 5am and
liquor stores open is 9am is not fair.😶

Her : Can i have your Picture
Him : Check My Profile
Her : its a Car not you
Him : Yea i know.. open the door im inside the car

Oh Lord! When our crushes have updated their status We’re being forced to react with haha😂 even though it’s not necessary just to get their attention

The food that I ate in my dreams last night had no taste😒..
so tonight I’m sleeping with salt

AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND
TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE
HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING
SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE
AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER
STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH
A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE
OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE
YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE
OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, “HEY OLD
WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?”
THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE
GUNSLINGER AND SAID, “NO,… I
NEVER DID DANCE… NEVER REALLY
WANTED TO.”
A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE
GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID
“WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU’RE GONNA
DANCE NOW,” AND STARTED
SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN’S
FEET.
THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR —
NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE
BLOWN OFF –STARTED HOPPING
AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS
LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET
HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG
GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING,
HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED
AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE
SALOON.
THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER
PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-
BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED
BOTH HAMMERS.
THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY
THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE
CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING
IMMEDIATELY.
THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE
SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED
AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE
WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE
CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG
GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD
WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING
HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.
THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN
NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD
WOMAN’S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY
SAID, “SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED
A MULE’S ASS?”
THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD
AND SAID, “NO M’AM… BUT I’VE
ALWAYS WANTED TO.
THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR
ALL OF US:
1 – Never be arrogant.
2 – Don’t waste ammunition.
3 – Whiskey makes you think you’re
smarter than you are.
4 – Always make sure you know who
has the power.
5 – Don’t mess with old people; they
didn’t get old by being stupid.