As a lady you must respect your
boyfriend’s friends, they’re the ones who
know if you’re his girlfriend or not.

One spelling mistake and
husband can not go
home……. !
.
A Husband wrote a romantic message to his wife on his official trip and missed an “e” in the last word.
.
Now he is seeking police
protection to enter his
own house
.
He wrote: “Hi darling I’m
experiencing the best
time of my life & I wish you were her.

Me: 147895672077.
Girlfriend: Thanks for airtime baby.
Me: Its electricity, boil water and bath.

I’ve had a letter from police saying they want to interview me.
Which is strange thing coz I’ve never applied for a job with them

I was at shoprite then there’s this
lady who was staring at me as if she
had never seen someone drinking coke
and putting it back in the fridge

I just switched off the candle. I guess now iam a fire fighter

If you’re bored like I am, here’s what to do: Place a cube of sugar where ants are prevalent in your house. Observe as one ant will spot it, the little snitch will then go and report to others. After it has left, remove it, so that when the other ants come they will think the other ant is a liar and will never trust him again. *Ruin his life..

​Imagine “You go to the drug shop to buy poison to
kill yourself but you still wait for your change…​
​are you serious?! “​

Today I’m not Going To School
Because My Neighbor Cheated on His Wife,So The Wife Got Angry & Told The Husband That She Will Have *ex With All The Neighbors Around..
I am Patiently Waiting For Her

Nowadays in a relationship when you go offline for the whole day
you must make sure you come back with a doctors note and Affidavit

So you go to your girlfriends place
without notice and find another guy ,
Then you get hurt,
But my brother the bible says
only Jesus will come like a thief without notice,
you are not Jesus, stop being emotional.

Six old retired guys are sat playing poker at Gary’s house one night when Rocco loses 600 dollars on a single hand. At the shock of this he clutches his chest and then drops dead from a heart attack.

Tony asks, “Who’s going to go and tell the situation to his wife?”
None of them want this horrible job so they finally decide to cut the pack, and lowest card loses and has to go tell her.
Ronald draws a three and loses so he’s the one who has to go and break the bad news. The others tell him to be discreet and gentle so as not to make a bad situation even worse.
Ronald says, “Discreet? I’m the most discreet person you’ll ever meet – discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me, not a problem.” He drives over to Rocco’s house and knocks on the door. Rocco’s wife answers and asks Ronald what he wants.

Ronald replies, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this but your husband just lost 600 bucks playing cards and is afraid to come home. He’s asked me to come over here and apologize to you.”
Rocco’s wife goes crazy and screams, ” You tell him I said drop dead!”
Ronald doesn’t bat an eyelid and says, “Ok, I’ll go tell him.

I’m that cousin that my aunties use as a
bad example to their kids