When your girlfriend say ” I’m out with my friends” and you ask her which ones? And she says “You don’t know them” 🙁
.
My brother you better be prepared, you might as well start processing the break-up papers. She’s cheating sham

July Is Colder⛄
Than A Slay Queen’s Attitude Towards A Broke Guy.

Why did I get divorced?

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay,” I said.She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting on the sofa… naked.

5 DEADLY WORDS USED BY WOMEN.
(1) FINE- is a word used to end an
argument when she knows she is right
and u nid to shut up.
(2) NOTHING- means something, you need
to be worried.
(3). GO AHEAD- this is a dare, not
permission, dont do it.
(3). WHATEVER- is a woman’s way of saying
“screw you”
(5) THATS OK- she is thinking long and
hard on how and when you wil pay for
your mistake…
Pliz dont try this at home!
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE MINISTRY OF
HEALTH

Ladies , 👰what’s the first thing you check when a guy😎 is approaching you?
Boys listen….

Ngoni:* How are you dear?
*Mary:* I’m fine thanks!
*Ngoni:* So what’s your favorite color?
*Mary:* Ohh please, stop asking stupid questions! Ask me something more interesting and intellectual please.
*Ngoni:* Ooh, how many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of Sulfuric Acid at standard temperature and pressure?
*Mary:* Eeer bemgizidlalela mina; my favorite colour is dark white!

So technically showing up at the bank
in a mask and gloves is ok now.🤔😆😂

The farmer decided to change the old cock and bring in a young one that would take care of the many hens.
When the young cock arrived, and upon realising that he would lose his job and maybe end up a dinner, the old cock
approached the young one and said: “Look, I know I’m old and that’s the reason why our owner brought you here.

But can you leave two hens for me?”

“What’s that old cock! I’m going to keep all of them,” said the young one.
“Just two,” insisted the old cock.
“I’ve told you. They’re all mine!” replied the young cock.
“Alright then! Let’s do this,” says the old cock. “We bet on a race around the poultry house. If I win, I’ll keep two
hens. If I lose, all hens are yours.”
The young cock sizes up the old one and thinks that an old and ailing bird cannot win.
“Ok old cock, I agree,” he says.
The old cock looks at him and says: “Since my chances of winning are very small, let me have 5 metres advantage,” he asked.
The young cock does not even think twice about the request and agrees to the old cock’s conditions. The race starts and the young
cock shoots in chase of the old one. The old cock makes a tremendous effort to keep advantage, but is quickly losing ground.
The farmer sees the scene and takes his pellet-gun and shoots at the young cock. After killing him, he turns and says to his wife:
“I don’t understand! This is the fifth gay cock we bought this week. These gay birds have stopped chasing the hens and are now chasing an old
cock, can you believe it?”

*Nothing beats experience*