Boy: Hey babe do you smell that
Girl: no what do you mean
Boy: I smell wet dog omg I know what it’s coming from
Girl: what
Boy: well it smells like a dog that’s wet and the only dog in here is
Girl: where
Boy: you
Girl: what how rude
Boy: oh come on
Girl: what no
Boy: well you are a smelly mutt
Girl: that’s it I’m braking up with you
Boy: what you smelly mutt we can’t date your a dog silly
Girl: really
Boy: I’m putting you up for the pound
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A woman was at a job interview. The interviewer noticed a four year gap in her resume and asked what she was doing at that time. The woman replies,
“Oh, I was in Yail.”
The interviewer is impressed and tells her she’s hired.
The woman says, “So I got the yob??”
“Yob?” The interviewer asks.
“Yeah, yob.
So…
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Have you realised that most people
that fall pregnant are FEMALES?
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Knock knock
Who is there
Marry
Marry who
Marry me
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Doing nothing is very hard to do.
You never know when you’re finished
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Some Of Us Have Learned Professionalism At A Tender Age 
, Because Even As A 12Year Old I’d Have Beef With My Siblings And Still Cover Up For Them When They Did Some Wrong 
.. i Didn’t Let My Feelings Overcloud My Judgement ♥
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A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong. She’s failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her, and her best friend is moving away. Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack. The daughter says, “Absolutely Mom, I love your cake.”
“Here, have some cooking oil,” her Mother offers.
“Yuck” says her daughter.
“How about a couple raw eggs?”
“Gross, Mom!”
“Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?”
“Mom, those are all yucky!”
To which the mother replies, “Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves, but when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake! God works the same way. Many times, we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times, but God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful. Hope your day is a “piece of cake”
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boy : Where Are You?
girl : I’m On My Way To Town I’m In My Father’s Mercedes Benz 
Because The Bmw
Is In The Services 
And You?
boy : I’m Sitting Behind You In The Taxi And I Just Wanted To Say Don’t Pay I Have Already Paid 4 you…
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You cannot continue on the same path and arrive at a different destination.
Make the choice to have your actions reflect your goals
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You don’t need to know everything in life,
just the things that make you happy
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I love you so much please please please please call me
on the way, and the other day. I have a good idea to advertise the same time.
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This December I will be busy visiting my
relative’s all over, so I can save my food for
January
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American guy’s wallet:
Dollar bills, ID card and ATM Cards
Zimbabwean guy’s wallet:
3 Condoms, Expired ATM Cards, Voters’ Card, National ID, Shoprite Receipts, Toothpicks, Old kwacha currency etc…
American Lady’s handbag:
Money, Chocolate, ATM card , Apartment keys.
Zimbabwean Lady’s handbag:
Comb, dress, makeup kit, mirror, small pin charger, roll of toilet paper, coins, wrapper , and a Mosquito net.
True or False?
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I wonder why Wrestling people are fighting for a belt
yet they wear Panties
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No matter how comfortable you are…
Never ever and ever go to your boyfriend’s place
unannounced please..!
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Distance means so little when someone means so much.
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