I don’t have to manage my anger,
people need to manage their stupidity
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A chinese guy walks into a bar
–
Ronnie : “hey, do you know Kung fu?”
–
Chinese : “no why is it because i’m a chinese?”
–
Ronnie : “no it’s because you are drinking my beer”
–
Chinese ran away!!
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Your love shines in my heart as the sun that shines upon the earth.
– Eleanor Di Guillo
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As long as you keep saying “When can i see you” Instead of
“Lets go out for lunch” we’ll forever say
“I’ll let u know when im free
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You deserve to fall in love with someone who will thank God everyday for having you.
Someone who will treat you like a blessing, and not a burden.
Someone who will constantly make you laugh and wipe away all your tears.
Always know what you deserve.
Don’t settle.
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As Long As I Bought The Weed With My Own Money,
No One Will Stop Me From Wearing SunGlasses At Night
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There are hundreds of languages …
but a smile speaks them all.
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I wish I could go back in time and find you sooner,
that way I could love you longer.
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Nothing better than seeing the softer side
of someone only shown to You.
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A Woman who is 3Months Pregnant Falls Into A Deep Coma .
6months Later , She Awake And Ask About her Baby.
Doctor : You Have Twins , A boy and A Girl .
And They Are Both Fine. Luckily , Your Brother Named Them
For You
Woman: Oh No , Not My Brother !! He’s An Idiot !!
What Did He Name The Girl ??
Doctor : Denise
Woman : Well it is not bad , What Did He Call The Boy ??
Doctor : Denephew
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1. Know who you are, and be it. Know what you want, and go out and get it.”
2. “If it makes you happy, do it. If it doesn’t, then don’t.”
3. “Smile more, Worry less.
Good Morning
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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math
problems when his teacher picked him to
answer a
question, “Johnny, if there were five birds
sitting on a
fence and you shot one with your gun, how
many
would be left?” “None,” replied Johnny,
“cause the rest would fly
away.” “Well, the answer is four,” said the
teacher, “but I like
the way you’re thinking.” Little Johnny says,
“I have a question for you. If there
were three women eating ice cream cones
in a shop,
one was licking her cone, the second was
biting her
cone and the third was sucking her cone,
which one
is married?” “Well,” said the teacher
nervously, “I guess the one
sucking the cone.” “No,” said Little Johnny,
“the one with the wedding
ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking.
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Not being born into a rich family was my first financial mistake.
Its been downhill since.
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*Some girls are really funny, you expect your boyfriend to be rich in his 20’s yet your father is is still broke in his 60’s …. my sister what are you smoking, Tear gas??
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Have you ever dated someone on social media and
ended up breaking up without meeting
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I will never lie again.
Today I was coming back from church, in
the kombi
there sat a very pretty girl. All the guys in the
bus were
staring at her. Some of them passed their
destinations
without knowing. As for me, I was very
proud of myself because I sat next to her. I
did all the signs I could to make her feel my
presence
but all in vain. An idea came to my mind. I
took my
phone and dialed a fake number as guys
always
do to attract girls’ attention.
Me: Hello Sam, I’m calling to tell you that I
can’t make it today because I’ve just
received a call from our CEO asking me to
replace him at
a meeting bcz he is not yet back in tge
country. Pls tell my brother to use my Range
Rover 2017 to pick my mum from her
dentist’. I will be home late. Thanks Sam. I
will Sam. Once again, Thanks.
All this while, the girl
was looking at me. I said in my heart that
she would fall for me if I spoke to her now ..
Me: Hi baby, y r u looking at me like that? R u
surprised?
Girl: Pls pick up your phone battery. It fell
when u
were taking your phone out of your
pocket…..
I couldn’t raise my head till I got off the
kombi Happy new month.
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