Girlfriend : You’ve never smiled at me ever since we started dating, why?
Jonso: You said you want a serious relationship.

Guy hey babes hw r u?
Girl: gnu
Boy: am gud tnx
Girl: k
Boy: swity I hev a Q
Girl: wat nw?
Boy: wher r we?
Girl: Zimbabwe
Boy: no I mean me n u, who r we?
Girl: two Zimbabweans!

I want to get married to someone who’s
crazy as me. Imagine waking up at 23:00
hours and we both start laughing because
you forgot to pick up the kids at school

Lord your daughters are Disrespectful.
They roll their eyes👀, Before Picking Up our calls..!

Dear Boyfriends
We don’t need KFC , pizza , Nandos , flowers , perfume, chocolates , and we also don’t
want iPads, iPhone and blackberry’s this valentines day!!
.
Just come and say Hi to our parents and begin with the LOBOLA negotiations
Finish and klaar!!
Regards Girlfriends Association Of South Africa (GAOSA)

These days it’s risky to get angry with your
girlfriends because of those guys called
*I’m here for you*

Dear Future wife
You must know we will be married
forever and never divorce.
The following must be done to
divorce me…
*I want our divorce to take place in a
church we got married at, by the
pastor who’ve blessed our marriage
and all the people who witnessed our
vows. If we were able to invite em to
witness our marriage, I guess they
also have the right to come and
witness our divorce.Should any of the
witnessed die, forget about the
divorce, I won’t go for it.
.
*I want all my money I’ve spent on
our wedding celebration,
catering,food,drinks and rings …it will
be used on our divorcing
celebration,notforgetting the lobola
bride prize with interest of 25%
compounded annually.
.
*Seven goats and two cows must be
slaughtered to cleanse your shame of
disappointing my ancestors with our
divorce…all the goats must be green
in colour. Strictly no any other colour.
.
*Go and fetch all those woman
who’ve been trying their luck on me,
but I refused their proposals coz I
valued our marriage and thought I
wasn’t gonna betray and cheat on
you. Please go talk to em on my
behalf…I want em all.
.
*Your uncles who were negotiating
your lobola bride prize must be there
to renegotiate my refund. If one of the
uncles who was there on negotiations
had passed away or something, forget
about the divorce I want him there
.
*After finishing all of the things above,
I want a sourmoon, take me to a
place where I took you for our
honeymoon, and spent the same
period of time we spent on
honeymoon.better pray that we find
the same people we found there the
time we were there for our
honeymoon, should we find different
people..forget about the divorce

When you’re in a taxi and it’s start moving before you sit down
and you end up kissing someone’s grandmother’s forehead

A very good day to this esteemed group, premised on my comprehension and appreciation of my submission to the established fact that The Creator, did not allow the devil’s modus operand to breach our peaceful recess from our daily activities during the night. That concludes my submissions my lords and ladies

Satan didn’t hear anything!!!

Never open your wallet to prove love.🙅
•°•°•°•
Be Responsible..!

Some of you, if we wipe your make up,
you are going straight back to 2009.