Indian movies are so fake; I started dancing at the market today
but nobody joined me.

If u pay me a visit and I go to toilet u must clap your hands until
I come back ..am tired of thieves

You haven’t moved on if you still remember your EX name.
Thank God I don’t remember Cynthia.

Nxa This Morning My Girlfriend Was So Sick So That I Had To Carry Her To The Kitchen To Make A Breakfast For Me…
.
.
.
.
Get well soon my love..

I received a call in the morning and the conversation was like this:
Me: hallo
Caller: do you have a heart?
Me: yes
Caller: do you have intestines?
Me: yes I do
Caller: OK am coming to take them..

He hung up.. Eeee I was like damn wat is happening to me. Am I dreaming??
He called again after some minutes..
Me (scared) :ha hallo!
Caller: hey sorry my brother, I thought I was calling the butcher , sorry wrong number my friend…

He hung up..

The Smell of KFC when you have money
and the one when you’re broke are different.

Don’t fall in love with pictures you see on
social media, body odour don’t appear in
social media

I tried having sex while listening to Gospel music..
I ended up putting her clothes back on and
i helped her get back with her Ex..

It’s always the fine guy who walks up to you,
looks at you with charming eyes,
then whispers to your ear “my friend likes you”
.
while he points at a monkey with big forehead like rabbit

A police officer pulls this guy over for speeding.
As the officer approaches the car, he can see that the guy is very anxious about something.
“Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?”
“Yes, officer… I know I was speeding — but it is a matter of life or death.”
“Oh, really? How’s that?”
“There’s a naked woman waiting for me at home.”
“I don’t see how that is a matter of life or death.”
“If I don’t get home before my wife does, I’m a dead man.”

Marriage = Buying
Engagement = Lay-by
Dating = Window-shopping
Vat en Sit = Theft
God is watching you.

Tσ∂αү ι αsкε∂ мү ωιғε тσ gιvε мε я390 тσ вυү α cσυρℓε σғ вεεяs…

тяυℓү sρεαкιηg ι’м тнαт σηε gυү ωнσ нαтεs вαтнιηg sσ мү ωιғε sαι∂ sнε’ℓℓ gιvε тнε мσηεү ση σηε cση∂ιтισηsнε

She sαι∂ “gσ вαтн” ι нαvε αℓяεα∂ү ρυт sσмε ωαям ωαтεя ιη тнε вαтн ” ι ωεηт ιη тнεяε αη∂ αρρℓιε∂ sσмε vαsεℓιηε ση мү вσ∂ү αη∂ тнεη ∂σ мү σωη sтυғғ’s.

αғтεя ғεω мιηυтεs ℓαтεя , ι яυsнε∂ συт ωнεяε sнε ωαs sιттιηg ωιтн кι∂’s αη∂ sαү ” ι’м ∂σηε вαтнιηg, ωнεяε’s мү мσηεү ?”тнεү αℓℓ ℓσσкε∂ αт мε αη∂ sтαятε∂ ℓαυgнιηg🤣

ι ωαs vεяү sυяρяιsε∂ αη∂ gεттιηg αηgяү αт тнε saмε тιмε тнεη σηε σғ мү кι∂’s sαι∂ ” үσυ cℓεαяℓү ∂ι∂η’т вαтн ∂α∂, вεcαυsε тнε мσηεү ιs яιgнт υη∂εя тнε sσαρ “