Assume the govrmnt says, everybody should register their boyfriend/ girlfriend,wife/husbnd before the end of 2017 and you try to register yours and the machine tells you tht, “sorry the person you registered,has been already registered!!!,”What will you do?

Sometimes I use big words that I don’t understand
so I can sound more photosynthesis

Mathematician: How to write 4 in between 5?
China: Is this a Joke?
Japan: Impossible!
America: The question’s wrong.
UK: Not found on Internet.
Zimbabwe: F(IV)E
This is the reason you find Zimbabweans
everywhere in the world in finance, business,
medicine, engineering….
anything to do with using your brain.
British: Can u Swim?
Zimbabwean: No
British: Then a Dog is Better den u because It
Swims.
Zimbabwean: Can u Swim?
British: Yes!
Zimbabwean: Then What’s the Difference
between u & Dog…
British Shocked, Zimbo Rocks!

Today my mother In Law gave me a tea to drink then she winked at me.
Yaz Ive never been so scared like this to drink tea.

Dressing well & smelling nice even when you are broke isn’t fake life.
You must not look like a beggar just because you are broke..!

Teacher: “Who is the President of
South Africa?”
Children: “Dingiswayo.”
Teacher: “Correct, and the Minister
of. Defence?”
Children: “Benny McCathy.”
Teacher: “Correct. What is the
capital city of South Africa?”
Children: “Mangaung.”
Teacher: “Very good, and who
composed the National Anthem?”
Children: “Ladysmith Mambazo.”
Teacher: “Excellent. What do you
call people from Mosco?”
Children: “Mosquitoes.”
Teacher: “Perfect. How much is 2 +
5?”
Children: “25.”
Teacher: “That’s great, you’re going to be stupid like this until your government
increases my salary!

Teacher : “Who is the president of South Africa?”
Children : “Shaka Zulu.”
Teacher : “Correct, and the minister off defence?”
Children : “Benny McCArthy.”
Teacher : “Correct, what is the capital city of South Africa?”
Children : “Nkandla.”
Teacher : “Very good,
and who composed the national anthem?”
Children : “Black coffee and Dj Tira.”
Teacher : “Excellent, what do you call people from Moscow?”
Children : “Mosquitoes.”
Teacher : “Perfect, how much is 2 + 5?”
Children : “25”
Teacher : “That’s great, you’re going to be stupid like this until your government increases my salary!”

If you’re sick never google the symptoms✋
You’ll die from stress

Some Girls are like bag of Weed,
you love her but you can’t introduce her to your parents

“In High school, I was very poor in Maths and Chemistry. During the exams, i’d get between 2% an 8%. The results used to be announced out from the lowest to the highest marks. So i would always be the 1st or 2nd to be called out. One day the Maths results were being released and my name wasn’t among the first to be called out. The teacher got to 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s &70s. Still my paper had not been called out. Everyone kept looking at me asking” Man wats up? And the teacher went on to the 80s and when he got to 88%, he had one paper remaining. I then asked myself, could I have scored 90% in Maths ? I was feeling very anxious and happy now that I knew I had proved the so called Genius wrong.. The whole class was amazed as every one kept looking at me. It was unbelievable. Finally the teacher looked up and said, There is a cow who did not write his name on the paper that scored 0%. If you have not received your paper come and get it now”

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

shaolin kung fuThe monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?”

The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”

The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.”

The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.”

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.”

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?”

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.

The man demands the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.

He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.

Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire.

So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.”

The man is relieved to no end.

He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk

Wemen are the most faithful creatures on earth,they don’t cheat,don’t lie
and they are trustworthy.
Remember i said “We Men and not Women

Seriously Auto Correct??? You honestly think I want to search for “Hardcore Poem” at 00:37am?😏