The reason I don’t eat rice when i am visiting people is because they put their phones in rice to dry them when they fall in toilet water.

The movement u want to make soundless fart inside a Taxi,
and u poo on ur cloth, and the passenger start looking u
immediately , u will start talking nonsense. You will be like ” shit…. see how dis traffic light is smelling shit…

To all gents who are not yet married…….
Please if you want to find a girl to marry,
dont find slender one because slender girls are talkative😂😂😂.
You won’t find inner peace!!!!!

Cheating on your wife doesn’t mean that you don’t love her, it’s like hiring a taxi when you have your own car at home. It saves tyres, ensures longer lasting beauty and reduces mileage. Please send this to your wife and see what happens. *Please, let me know which hospital to come to visit you!*

*To all real men out there you should please note*
Next year We Dating Girls With Real Eyebrows..
The Drawers Will Draw Their Own Boyfriends.
Happy 2018

Facebook will update you with unnecessary things. Telling you the page you have liked has changed to what what. Yet failing to let us know when someone has crush on you.

People Keep On Writing TV..
B’coz They Can’t Spell… TellHerVision.

Dear ladies, the only reason why your man takes a bath with you
is to prevent you from going through his phone.

It has nothing to do with being romantic..

Wife to her husband text*:
“Big head, you haven’t called me since morning…Are you the only one working in that office? Smh! Fine, continue…”

Side Chic text:
“Babes, you haven’t called today, I guess you’ve been busy with work. I hope you’ve had time to eat something at least. Don’t overwork yourself my love. I will call you later.
I Love you!”

Now do the mathematics yourself, it’s not juju they use in snatching your husbands , is it?

I have noticed that most churches ⛪ are fighting against Satan 😈
.
But there’s one church that decided to fight against pigs

Am I the only one who used to think that when there’s lightning
God is taking us pictures

*UNIVERSITY OF MARRIAGE FINAL YEAR
MATHS EXAMS*
*Time*: *3Hrs 30MINS*
*INSTRUCTIONS:*
1 *_ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS_*
2 *_ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS_*
*1.* You are a married man and you have
dated somebody’s wife for *two* years, busy
spending on her like there is no tomorrow.
eventually she drops you and concentrates on
her innocent husband. Calculate the
percentage of time wasted. *(20 marks)*
*2.* You bought a phone for your friend’s wife
and she gave it to her husband. Using
trigonometric identities, derive a general
formula for this type of love. *(20 marks)*
*3. For Men* You’re dating around 15 ladies
and every lady is demanding for a Samsung
Galaxy and an iPhone 6s
*(a)* Plot a graph of detoothers against prices
of phones. *(15marks)*
*(b)* Use your graph to estimate your future
poverty *(5marks)*
*(c)* Plot the percentage shame against
volume of apologies to your family members.
*(5 Mks)*
*4.* You are whatsapping and facebooking
other people’s wives yet you don’t want to see
your wife on the social network. Calculate the
Percentage Error in your thinking capacity. *
(20 marks)*
*5.* You are a *civil servant*, your wife is a
petty trader, your combined household income
is less than N1,000,000. Your daughter who is
awaiting *WASSCE* result is using iPhone 6s
and Samsung Galaxy worth N700,000 each.
Calculate the Percentage of your Parental
Negligence. *(20 marks)*
*6. *For ladies* You’re a married woman and
you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use
the law of diminishing Return to calculate the
substance that will be left for your husband to
enjoy. *(20 marks)*
*7.* You can’t give your wife N10,000 for a
pot of soup, but you spend over N50,000 in
bars and restaurant.
Calculate the radius of your ‘stupidity’, take
π=3.142 *(20 marks)*
8.* You have been in the church and in your
fellowship for years but your name is not in
the book of LIFE because of the secret sin.
Calculate the years you will spend in HELL? *
(30 mark)*
_*BEST OF LUCK!*
Your Time Starts Now. But remember to share
to all your friends because the question
papers are not many to go round

You can’t be a Nurse and be ugly at the same time 😕
I mean We can’t be afraid of needles and you !!!

A baby is never a mistake, you had sex
without condom, what were you
expecting? iPhone 9?