Husband: bbe I have a problem
Wife: No bbe we are married now, we are one..don’t say “I have a problem” you should be saying “We Have a Problem”
Husband: Ohk bbe… We impregnated a Maid

I texted my ex-girl “Hi” she immediately updated her Facebook status:
“I’m doing fine without u”😐
And yet i wanted to say:
” I met your dad👳 in town wearing my jacket”

A guy & his wife both made a list of 5 people they’re allowed to sleep with if they ever got the opportunity.

She picked Brad Pitt, Jhonny Depp, Salman Khan, Ranbir Kapoor and Ranveer Singh.

He just picked her sister, her cousin, her best friend, their nextdoor neighbour and their son’s third grade teacher.

*Men are simple like that….they set achievable goals.*

People in relationships be like:
“Awww baby you make me so happy.”😍
~•~
But the day they break up they be like:
“Finally happy.”

Huawei is like that girl you used to say she’s ugly in High school
then after Grade 12 she’s showing everyone flames.!

As soon as I wake up I grab my phone.
I don’t even check if am still alive..!

Acting Surprised When You Get a Plate Of Food
At Someone’s House is Very important

IRONY OF THE LIFE WE LIVE
1: A lawyer wants you in trouble
2: A doctor wants you sick
3: A policeman wants you to be a criminal
4: A teacher wants you born stupid
5: A landlord wants you without a house
6: A prostitute wants you not married
7: A dentist wants you with decayed teeth
8: A mechanics wants your car broken down
9: A coffin maker wants you dead
10: Only a thief wishes you prosperity!!!!!!!!!!
Crazy world we living in

When your girlfriend say ” I’m out with my friends” and you ask her which ones? And she says “You don’t know them” 🙁
.
My brother you better be prepared, you might as well start processing the break-up papers. She’s cheating sham

Wife asked: What are u doing?
Husband: Am Killing mosquitoes?
Wife: How many did u kill?
Husband: Total 5. Two females, 3 males.
Wife: How do u know their genders?
Husband: 2 were near my wallet and 3 near the beer bottle

Girls love to hear “Baby I’m coming to fetch you” 😍😍
Eseng bo “Gao fetsa go fologa otsamaye straight otla bona shopo ya makula e Red , o jikele ka mo left o tla mpona ka skipa sa spiderman” 😂😂😂