Pain is when you accidentally give the visitor. …
the plate with the big meat
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This is how i stopped dating school girls: She came to my place in a school uniform, looked into my eyes & said sweetheart, i have miss my periods” that’s how i fainted & when i woke up in a hospital, I overheard her telling the nurse that “I didn’t know he cared so much about my academic life, all i wanted to tell him was that, i had missed my period 4 math & english, but he fainted before I could finish”
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A Universal Philosophical Refutation
A philosopher once had the following dream.
First Aristotle appeared, and the philosopher said to him, “Could you give me a fifteen-minute capsule sketch of your entire philosophy?” To the philosopher’s surprise, Aristotle gave him an excellent exposition in which he compressed an enormous amount of material into a mere fifteen minutes. But then the philosopher raised a certain objection which Aristotle couldn’t answer. Confounded, Aristotle disappeared. Then Plato appeared. The same thing happened again, and the philosophers’ objection to Plato was the same as his objection to Aristotle. Plato also couldn’t answer it and disappeared. Then all the famous philosophers of history appeared one-by-one and our philosopher refuted every one with the same objection. After the last philosopher vanished, our philosopher said to himself, “I know I’m asleep and dreaming all this. Yet I’ve found a universal refutation for all philosophical systems! Tomorrow when I wake up, I will probably have forgotten it, and the world will really miss something!” With an iron effort, the philosopher forced himself to wake up, rush over to his desk, and write down his universal refutation. Then he jumped back into bed with a sigh of relief. The next morning when he awoke, he went over to the desk to see what he had written. It was, “That’s what you say.”
#Joke_of_theday
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SHE LEFT ME BECAUSE I WAS BROKE,
NOW I USE HER NUMBER FOR BANK NOTIFICATION
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Women: Communication is key
Men : what’s wrong?
Women : Nothing. Goodnight
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Rihanna : Shine Bright Like A Diamond
– Albert Einstein : Diamond Don’t Shine idiot 😡 , They Reflect
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When your Bae is treating you so good
that you even thinking of calling
all your EX’s and dump them again…
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If you meet a woman that admit she’s wrong, apologises and changes her ways. Dump her, that might be a man, women don’t do that..!
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I once told my parents I wanted a tattoo.
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Got one the very next minute.
A red coloured, chappal shaped tattoo, which lasted a whole
week !!
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Today l used RedBull instead of water
to make my cofee……
After driving on a freeway for 15 minutes
l realises that l left the car at home🏡
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A woman is like a swimming pool.Dont bother finding out who swam before you, who is swimming with you,who will swim after you. Just enjoy swimming.
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If you hate someone, Please hate him/her
alone. Don’t recruit other people to hate
him/her with you.That’s witchcraft.
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A couple of strangers a man and a woman were sitting next to each other on an international flight when the Captain came on the intercom and said: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m sorry to have to tell you that, due to a major systems malfunction, we will not be able to make land and we will have to put down in the ocean. I’ll be frank with you. It’s going to be extremely rough and some of you may not survive. Good luck and keep praying.”
With that, the woman turned to the man and said: “Quick! Make me feel like a real woman!” The man pulled off his shirt, handed it to the woman and said: “Here you are love, Iron this …”
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One day somebody buy a donkey and the man who buy it ask how the donkey works ?
the farmer said if you say oh my god it will walk ,if you say oh my god two times
it will run. The man take it for a test drive and said oh my god two times and
it begins to run the man said stop because the mountain has stop and
there was water on the ground and the man say oh my god and
the donkey begin to walk in to the water from the mountain
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One Day, While A Woodcutter Was Cutting A Branch Of A Tree Above A River, His Axe Fell Into The River.
When He Cried Out, The Lord Appeared And Asked: “Why Are You Crying?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “His Axe Has Fallen Into Water, And He Needed The Axe To Make His Living”
The Lord Went Down Into The Water And Reappeared With A Golden Axe.
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Axe?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “No”
The Lord Again Went Down And Came Up With A Silver Axe.
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Axe?”
Again, The Woodcutter Replied: “No”
The Lord Went Down Again And Came Up With An Iron Axe.
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Axe?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “Yes”
The Lord Was Pleased With The Man’s Honesty And Gave Him All Three Axes To Keep, And The Woodcutter Went Home Happy.
Some Time Later The Woodcutter Was Walking With His Wife Along The Riverbank, And His Wife Fell Into The River.
When He Cried Out, The Lord Again Appeared And Asked Him: “Why Are You Crying?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “Oh Lord, My Wife Has Fallen Into The Water”
The Lord Went Down Into The Water And Came Up With Angelina Jolie
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Wife?”
The Woodcutter Cried: “Yes”
The Lord Was Furious. “You Lied! That Is An Untruth”
The Woodcutter Replied: “Oh, Forgive Me, My Lord. It Is A Misunderstanding. You See, If I Had Said ‘No’ To Angelina Jolie, You Would Have Come Up With Aishwarya Rai. Then If I Said ‘No’ To Her, You Would Have Come Up With My Wife. Had I Then Said ‘Yes’ You Would Have Given Me All Three. Lord, I Am A Poor Man, And Am Not Able To Take Care Of All Three Wives, So That’s Why I Said ‘Yes’ To Angelina Jolie”
Moral Of The Story: “Whenever A Man Lies, It Is For A Good And Honorable Reason, And For The Benefit Of Others.
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After this Corona, people must understand why dogs run out when you open a gate and stop beingharsh on them. Staying indoors is not child’s play.
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