A couple decided that the only way to have a quickie while their ten-year- old son was in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and let him give a running report on what was going on in the neighborhood. So the boy stood on the balcony and reported on everything that was happening. “A police car has just called at the Hamilton’s’ house, the Chandlers are taking delivery of a new wardrobe, and the Mitchell’s are having sex.” Hearing this, the boy’s parents shot bolt upright. “How do you know the Mitchells are having sex?” “Because their kid is standing on the balcony too.”

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I’ve been single for too long,
sometimes i put a teddy bear on my bed
and sleep on the floor,
pretending my bae is mad at me..

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A wife can remind you of what you said
in your previous birth… Beware!!

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April 1 is named FOOL’S DAY, after Clive
April. He was born on 1st April 1579 . He
did 105 businesses in his lifetime. He lost
all his father’s assets and so everyone
started calling him father of the fools.
At 19, he married a 61-year-old woman
who divorced him after a year because of
his foolishness.
He used to read all kinds of fake stories like
you are doing now.

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You can’t be a Nurse and be ugly at the same time 😕
I mean We can’t be afraid of needles and you !!!

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My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again. I don’t understand the sudden change of heart, but who am I to ask. I’m so lucky…
I mean, first I won the lottery and now this!

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Welcome to mzansi where Girls Hate their useless baby daddy
but Love another Girl’s useless baby daddy

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Fat girls be like ” I HATE PIC FRAMES 😡”
but we all know you don’t fit in there dear

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Seeing people walk out of my life is very painful……
I want them to run

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The only three people a woman
attentively listens to and obeys sincerely
and does exactly as they say is a DOCTOR,
the PASTOR and PHOTOGRAPHER, otherwise
if you’re neither of the three, sit down and
be strong…*

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Quote of the week
*Why can’t satan just apologise to God and we go back to Eden and be naked again…………..*
*there is a person that I want to see without clothes*

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You can’t be born in February and be normal,
because the month itself is not complete

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A man was walking
down the street when he was
accosted by a particularly dirty
and shabby-looking homeless
man who asked him for a couple
of cash for dinner.
The man took out his wallet,
extracted 1k and asked, “If I give
you this money, will you buy
some beer with it instead of
dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years
ago,” the homeless man replied.
“Will you use it to go fishing
instead of buying food?” the man
asked.
“No, I don’t waste time fishing,”
the homeless man said. “I spend
all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on green
fees at a golf course instead of
food?” the man asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the
homeless man. “I haven’t played
golf in 20 years!”
“Will you spend the money on a
woman in the red light district
instead of food?” the man asked.
“What disease would I get for
1k?” exclaimed the homeless
man.
“Well,” said the man, “I’m not
going to give you the money.
Instead,
I’m going to take you home for a
terrific dinner cooked by my
wife.”
The homeless man was
astounded.
“Won’t your wife be furious with
you for doing that? I know I’m
dirty and I probably smell pretty
disgusting.”
The man replied, “That’s okay.
It’s important for her to see what
a man looks like after he has
given up beer, fishing, golf and
s**

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Im not a sleeping person is important
when doing an interview at a security company

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Marriage = Buying
Engagement = Lay-by
Dating = Window-shopping
Vat en Sit = Theft
God is watching you.

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