*I know there are so many things dat won’t be tolerated in 2018 buh these are some random QUOTES dat are free to enter 2018*

1. Being kissed does not mean you are loved.
Ask Jesus about Judas😂😂😂😂

2. 80% of cute girls are single because all boys
think she definitely has a boyfriend!
😂😂😂😂

3. Welcome to Africa where Jesus sends you a
whatsapp message and threatens to kill you if
you do not send it to 20 people😂😂😂

4. No matter how light skinned you are, your
shadow will always be black😂😂😂

5. Gaining weight while you owe me money is a
sign of Disrespect. # LOLZ😂😂😂😂

6. The distance between Egypt and Israel is
about 613km but it took moses and Israelites 40
years to complete their journey. On average each day
they walked only 43 metres, yes only 43 metres,
almost half of what Usain Bolt do in 5 seconds. I just
wish if moses was around to explain this
Laziness😂😂😂😂

7. The reason why some other guys treats you
better than your boyfriend is because they
haven’t slept with you yet.😂😂😂😂

8. Some ladies will be matching purses with
clothes But cannot match babies to their real Daddies #
WINKS *😂😂

9. MARY was a virgin and she married a
carpenter (JOSEPH). You are not a virgin and you are
waiting for a billionaire to marry you?
I will not say anything😳😂😂😂😂

10. No African girl will choose six packs over
six cars, so stop going to the gym and go to
work # FACT😂😂😂😂

11. If the government would ban women from
using makeup, a lot of kids will not recognise
their mothers😂😂😂😂

12. The only person a woman attentively
listens to and obeys sincerely and does exactly
as he say is a PHOTOGRAPHER, otherwise if you’re not a
photographer, sit down and be strong😂😂😂😂

13. You haven’t moved on if you still remember
your Ex’s phone number. I’m not gonna argue
with you.
😂😂😂

14. Slim Girls who go for jogging at dawn, what do
you want to lose again…
Your life?😂

At the age of 35 you have a ring on your nose instead of your finger?
My sister are you a bull?

Just recieved ‘a stay away from my wife call’ and
i just asked that bustard ‘is this a threat??…..
dont you know that sharing is caring???’

The power of being single and hitting neighbour’s wife

Question: “What Is Will Power?”

Solid Answer: “It’s When You See 10 Notification, 20 Msgs & 30 Friend Reqeusts, And Still You Click . . . . . . . . . “Logout“

Keep On Forgiving Him while You Are still Looking for Someone to Replace with

It’s always the fine guy who walks up to you,
looks at you with charming eyes,
then whispers to your ear “my friend likes you”
.
while he points at a monkey with big forehead like rabbit

Nothing confuses like a pregnant lady.
when she’s eating soil, I wonder if she’s
trying to organize a playground for the
baby or what.

Once all engineering professors were sitting in one plane ✈
Before the take off there was an announcement. ” this plane is made by your students ”
All the professors stood up, ran outside, but the principal was still sitting.
One guy came back and asked ” you are not afraid ?”
The principal replied ” I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane ✈ won’t even start “

Guyz 2gether we can beat this virus…
plz don’t touch water with unwashed hands

A man at work calls home and his 8 years old daughter picks the phone:
“Hi honey, this is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?”
“No daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” The little girl quipped.
“After a brief pause daddy says, “But honey you haven’t got an uncle Paul!”
“Oh yes I do, and he is upstairs in the room with mommy right now.”
Brief pause,“ Uh okay then, this is what I want you to do: put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door, and shout to mommy that daddy’s car has just arrived at the gate.”
“Ok daddy just a minute….”
A while later the little girl comes back to the phone, “Done it daddy.
””What happened honey?”
“Well, mommy got scared and jumped out of the bed naked, ran round the room screaming, tripped over, and knocked her head on the staircase ,now she is not moving at all.”
“What about Uncle Paul?” asked Dad. He jumped out the window into the swimming pool, but I guess he didn’t know you emptied the water last week. He hit the bottom and I think he’s dead.”
After a really long pause this time… Daddy says, “Swimming pool, but we don’t have a swimming pool! Is this 486-5731?”
“No, this is 486-5713” “Sorry wrong number….!!!!”

Being single for a long period of time is
dangerous. Once you see how peaceful it
is, you don’t even wanna deal with people.

I Don’t Give A Fvck Whether Your Bio Is Written “Taken”…
I’ll Assume That’s Your Favourite Movie.

She took off her jeans, threw it to me and said: “Make me feel like a woman🍆🍑” and I removed my trouser, threw it to her and said: “Wash them both..!”