I asked my mom if I was adopted.
Her reply was “why would we choose you?
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if I pay 💰R100 000 or more for my girlfriend’s Lobala…Then every time when I show up,Her family members must stand up ,polish my shoes 👞Even if they not dirty, salute and sing 🎶National anthem 🇿🇦 in full and 30 gunshot salute, red carpet +5 minutes moment of silence
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If someone asks about your educational background, proclaim boldly that:
Church is my college.
Heaven is my university.
Father God is my counselor.
Jesus is my principal.
Holy Spirit is my teacher.
Angels are my classmates.
Bible is my textbook.
Temptations are my exams.
Overcoming Satan is my hobby.
Winning souls for God is my assignment.
Receiving eternity is my degree.
Praise and Worship are my slogan
Did u just say Amen?
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God created me with a propose so
be careful with ur bad thinking about me
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Stop asking for lifts petrol is expensive.
Mofaya ( energy drinks) are R10 buy them and walk
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A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?” The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None, how do you figure that?” The little boy says, “if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence.” The teacher replies, “Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!” The little boy then says, “Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?” The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, “Well, I guess the one sucking her cone.” To which the little boy replies, “Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!”
🤣
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Why don’t witches wear underwear?
Answer I get a tighter grip on the Broom without underwear on
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I didn’t say you were a slut….I just implied that you don’t sleep in your own bed too often…
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My brother if she doesn’t disturb u , annoys u😡
or give u any headache😡 then she is not the one ….real girlfriends 💑act like Demons 👹some even act like witches from Malawi.
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Some of you should have been married
long time..you always looking down on
your smart phones at the malls, passing
your husbands
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The pain of eating at other people’s houses is
that you must laugh
even if their child take your meat 🍖
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Once a wise man told me No matter how HOT she is
somewhere someone is tired of her….
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Eat fresh flowers delivered to your home
cause the planter can’t eat them
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I remember the day my ex sent me breakup
messages, and mum asked me what I was
reading? I told her,” tips to cook delicious
food ” then she said why are you crying?
Then I replied,” I’ve reached where they are
cutting onions.
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You are not black enough if you don’t switch off all your appliances
because it thundering
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The waitress asks for their orders. The guy says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”
“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $18.40 please.” The man reaches into his pocket and, without looking, pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the guy and the ostrich come again and the guy says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke.”
The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”
Again the guy reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until one night they enter the restaurant and the waitress asks, “The usual?”
“No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad”, says the guy.
“Me too,” says the ostrich.
The waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $42.62.”
Once again the guy pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”
“Well,” says the guy, “several years ago I was cleaning my attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”
“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”
“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the guy.
The waitress asks, “But, sir, what’s with the ostrich?”
The guy sighs and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.”
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