You know even if you can call him/her BAE in public or
even post his/her pics on social networks
“They will still cheat on you”

*_SMOKING WEED CANNOT STOP ME FROM ADVISING YOU_*

*_YOU SEE, NO MATTER HOW POOR YOUR FATHER IS, LOVE HER, SHE IS YOUR BROTHER_*

Very important health tips: don’t eat
burgers, pizzas, chat, ice cream & chocolate
Without ME!

You know it’s winter when a Slender chick says
“Let me focus on my Studies”..!

Pastor : “Those Who Want to Quit Alcohol
please come forward to the altar”
My Mom : “Go Forward The Pastor Is Calling You”
Me : ” He Said Those Who Want To”

Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: Certainly not! There’s no proof of it.
Boss: Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral, he came here looking for you.

A man wakes up in hospital:
man: what happened.
Doctor: you have been in a serious
accident.
Man: am I going to be ok?
Doctor: I have some good news and
some bad news.
Man: what’s the bad news?
Doctor: we have had to amputate
both your legs.
Man: oh my God, no. What’s the
good news?
Doctor: the man in the next bed
wants to buy your shoes.

In a white guy’s car
Black :driver decrease me here
White : What😮
Black :leave me alone
White : I don’t understand
Black :Put me down bathong eh
White :😨😨🙆
Black :hey I know my placing home , you are increasing me mos

if ur parents never told u to go and wear ur shoes and
before u come back they were gone,
forget it, u were adopted.

A man buys a LIE DETECTOR Robot that slaps
people who lie. He decided to test it at dinner.
Dad: Son, where were you today during school
hours?
Son: At school. (Robot slaps son)
Son: Okay, I went to the movies!
Dad: Which one?
Son: Harry potter. (Robot slaps again)
Son: Okay, I was watching porn.
Dad: What? When I was your age I didn’t even
know what porn was. (Robot slaps dad)
Mom: Hahahahahaha!!! After all “he is your son”!
(Robot slaps mom).

The way my ex used To lie when we were daTing
IF she sent me a good morning massage
I Go outside and check iF iT really moRning

Boss: Where were you born?
Nya: Zimbabwe.
Boss: Which part?
Nya: What ‘which part’? Whole body was born in Zimbabwe.
Nya and his friend were fixing a bomb in a car.
Xolie: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Nya: Don’t worry, I have one more.
Nya: What is the name of your car?
Xolie: I forgot the name, but it starts with ‘T’.
Nya: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
Nya joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what Nyaa did till evening.
Nyaa: Keyboard letters were not in Alphabetical order, so I made it
alright.
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue you’ve broken.
Nyaa: Thank God! I thought it was a new one.

A woman can date you from January to October and marry someone else in the first weekend of November. My brother, fear women😂

When A White Person Asks You For Directions
And In Your Head You’re Like
“You Stole This Land, You Should Know It”