Am I the only one who used to think that when there’s lightning
God is taking us pictures

People be like “I saw you at the market earlier today u looked so serious” what was I supposed to do…?
.
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Smile at the cabbage?

Kissing your bae in public is not a problem the problem start when make it sound like a car crash

I watched numerous episodes of Ben 10 yaz
And there’s not even one where he had an affair with an older woman

An announcement to all members of this App. We are humbly requesting you all to leave the App tomorrow morning from 9am to 1pm. *we want to PAINT the room*. Christmas is approaching, thank you!

The 8 lies of girls
-I am a virgin.
-I don’t eat to much.
-I have never had an abortion.
-I don’t like too much sex.
-I don’t have a boyfriend.
-I am in bad period.
-He is only my friend.
-I don’t go out at night.

The 6 lies of boys
-I love you.
-You are my only girlfriend.
-I can die for you.
-Among all the other girls you are the best.
-Don’t worry i will make you to feel at ease.
-If you are pregnant i will take care of everything.
send this to all the liars like you and please don’t send it to me cox I received it by mistake

Imagine you in church and this SMS comes in”,
your uncle is drinking ur 🍺 beers”

Kenny is an engineer that can’t find a job so he opens a
clinic and puts a sign outside ‘GET TREATMENT
FOR R50 – IF NOT CURED YOU GET BACK R200 A
lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn
R150 and goes to the clinic… Lawyer: “I have
lost my sense of taste”
Kenny : “Nurse, bring
medicine from box no.22 and put 3 drops in
patient’s mouth” Lawyer: “Urgh..this is paraffin”
Kenny : “Congrats, your sense of taste is
restored. Give me R50” The annoyed lawyer goes
back after a few days to recover his money…
Lawyer: “I have lost my memory. I cannot
remember anything”
Kenny : “Nurse, bring
medicine from box no.22 and put 3 drops in his
mouth” Lawyer (annoyed): “This is paraffin. You
gave this to me last time for restoring my taste”
Kenny : “Congrats. You got your memory
back. Give me R50” The fuming lawyer pays him,
and then comes back a week later determined to
get back R200.
Lawyer: “My eye sight has become
very weak”
Kenny: “Well, I don’t have any
medicine for that, so take this R200” Lawyer
(staring at the note): “But this is R50, not R200”
Kenny : “Congrats, your eyesight is restored.
Give me R50”

You’ve A Boyfriend That You’re Always Proud Of, But You’re Always On Free Mode;
What’s His Job Kantsi???

If you see me talking to myself, walk away Am self-employed
we’re having a staff meeting.

Barbara has a heart attack. During this, she dies and meets God. “Will I die?” she asked. “Not yet,” God replied, “You will live for another thirty five years,three months, and seven days.” At this instant, she snapped back alive. After the heart attack, she decides to make the most of her life. She gets a face lift,Botox, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even gets a surgery to change the colour of her hair. After her final surgery, she walks out and gets hit by a truck and dies. When she goes up in heaven and meets God, she’s steaming.

“What was that!?”Barbara asked. “What?” God responded, “You died.”

“You said I would live another thirty five years!”

“Oh.” God thought for a while. “I didn’t recognise you.

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 in the morning…
can you believe it? 2:30?.
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luckily i was still up playing load music

Black women get away with murder because
hair collected at the crime scene will lead
detectives to some chic in Brazil or India!!!