A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed,
told her a story and listened to her prayers
which ended by saying: “God bless Mommy,
God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and
goodbye Grandpa.”
The father asked, “Why did you say goodbye
Grandpa?”
The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it
just seemed like the thing to do.”
The next day grandpa died. The father
thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to
bed and listened to her prayers which went
like this: “God bless Mommy, God Bless
Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The next day
the grandmother died.
“Holy Moley, thought the father, this kid is in
contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going
to bed the dad heard her say: “God bless
Mommy and goodbye Daddy.” He practically
went into shock.
He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the
crack of dawn to go to his office. He was
nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and
watched the clock. He figured if he could get
by until midnight he would be okay. He felt
safe in the office, so instead of going home
at the end of the day he stayed there,
drinking coffee, looking at his watch and
jumping at every sound.
Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh
of relief and went home. When he got home
his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so
late, what’s the matter?”
He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve
just spent the worst day of my life.”
She said, “You think you had a bad day?
You’ll never believe what happened to me.
This morning the mailman dropped dead on
our porch!”

Loading views...



If my bae have friends then I won’t buy her clothes or wigs cause her friends will be coming to borrow them and some won’t return them back

Sorry I can’t 😓

Loading views...

Are you single guys?
If so, go to Moria and say ” anytime is tea time ” right in front of girls

Loading views...

Dressing well & smelling nice even when you are broke isn’t fake life.
You must not look like a beggar just because you are broke..!

Loading views...


Sometimes their life is not better than yours.
Their phone just has better picture quality & a better filter..

Loading views...

Adam and Eve during their Valentines:
Eve: ‘Do u love me?’
Adam: “Ah, do i have a choice?”

Loading views...


TIP:
“Never treat your current partner based on what your last partner did”

Loading views...


Some Kid In A Taxi Today Askes Her Pregnant Mom

Kid : Mom whats in your stomach
Mom : A baby
Kid : Do you love her ?
Mom : yes
Kid : why did you eat it
Mom : fainted 🙆

But i Can’t laugh

Loading views...

Imagine you dating a Guy who can’t make you smile🙄. Ask yourself something my sister, are you dating an exam paper? 🤔

Loading views...

“I Need Space” means: “I’m trying to find your Replacement but if I don’t I will be back..”
~•~•~
Don’t be Fooled..!

Loading views...


Black parents only start to talk to you
about the danger of unprotected sex
when you tell them that your girlfriend is
pregnant

Loading views...


My Chinese friend got sick he went to the hospital.
I went to check on him ,at the hospital he kept repeating
” xia hi guang”. Then he died.
I was sad . After the burial, I checked on Google about his last words. APPARENTLY it meant
“YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!!!!!! ”.

Loading views...

Some girls need to wear socks with their heels cause
their toes be throwing gang signs…

Loading views...


If we breakup im coming to collect my teddy bear
cant leave my kid with a Stranger Never😂

Loading views...

Why can’t Satan just swallow his pride and
go and apologise to God so that we can
go back to the Garden of Eden and
stay naked coz clothes are too expensive.

Loading views...

My Teacher asked me to define “Trouble”
I walked to d front of the class and said
“Trouble is when you drove on it bike🛵 to the Police 👮 checking point without a driving license. So u were canned 24 times with wire. As u entered ur bike🛵 with tears😭😭, You shouted “God punish you”, pointing at the Police. Unluckily Your bike🛵 did not start again.😂😂😂

Loading views...