Husband’s Massage:

Honey, I Got Hit By A Car Outside Of The Office. Teena Brought Me To Hospital. They have been making tests and X-rays. The blow to my head though is very strong. Will not have any serious or lasting injury. But, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm , a compound fracture in the left lef and they may have to amputate the right foot.

Wife’s Response :

Who’s Teena ?

English is so f***ed up
how can you drink a drink
But you can’t food a food

She was my daily crush until She posted:
“Imagine stealing the meat and forgetting to put the pot door

Those of you that went to private schools, answer this question: Please why is there a letter ‘D’ in Fridge but it isn’t there in Refrigerator

I said I will pay back at the end of the month…
I didn’t say which month….
Be patient my friend

I started fearing Nyaope the day I saw my neighbour’s son dancing to the sound of my generator. When I switched it off he asked me who sang the song because I was afraid he would moer me I said “Yamaha Feat Petrol”

Treat your Bae right and God will bless you
with another one, can i get some
AMEN

TRUE STORY
A wife suspected the husband of
having sex with their
maid,then set a trap for him by
sending the maid to
the village without telling the husband. At night the husband told his usual
story, “I want to
go and watch wrestling,” and he left.
The wife silently went to the maid’s
room lying on the bed naked without any light.
Around 01:30 hours,he opens the door without
wasting time and without a word
had sex with her.
After the fifth round she said, “It’s enough I have
caught you, so this is how you use
to have sex with her. You have done five rounds and
you are still
demanding for another round when you only last for
two rounds.
Then BOOM……….!
The Garden Boy replied,” Am sorry madam I didn’t
know it was you. “hahahaha.

I know that I’m ugly as hell and
yet I expect to be in a relationship with a hot person

To all fools who dont believe in God because they have never seen him,
they do the same to their brains ,so their brains doesnt exist!

I’ll never chase a girl around unless
she ran with my beer

Two friends were walking through a jungle. They saw a hungry tiger.
The other friend started tightening his shoe laces, getting ready to run.
The other one asked,
“Do you really think you can run faster than the tiger?”
He replied,
“I don’t have to run faster than the tiger; I just have to run faster than you!!”

That’s today’s mentality…
Choose your friends wisely.

Ladies and their nonsense behaviours😏🤕
I said we should meet infront of a restaurant and you’re already inside reading the menu😢😢😒
Finish reading and meet me outside let’s discuss😎😎😊😂😹*

I hate indiscipline😔😔🤕