Mlondi ask a trainer in the gym:….
Mlondi : i want 9 impress that beautiful girl, which machine can i use
Trainer reply : use the atm
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Imagine you receive an SMS stating ” It’s over ” Whilst drinking Beers with Your Brother In Law 🤣
.
What are you gonna do
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A Relationship without Sex helps you to focus on
important things like Cheating
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Smoke causes * CANCER *
..
Alcohol Cause *DANCER *
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“A woman went to visit a doctor with a
black eye!
.
Woman : Doc,my husband always beat me
up everytime he comes home drunk…..I love
him and i can’t get him arrested,can you
help me please!
Doctor : When he comes back home just
drink a glass of water,don’t swallow water
through.”
.
»Woman go back home and waits for her
Husband….she drinks water and doesn’t
swallow.The husband comes back home
and went straight to the Bed…
.
The following day, she visited to the Doctor
Doctor : Did you do as i adviced?”
Woman : Yes!……and it worked,he didn’t
even touch me a Bit!”
Doctor : You see what happens if you keep
your Mouth Shut!!
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Just because that lipstick is expensive it doesn’t mean it’s looks good on your lips,
some lips just need vaseline
and that Green Zam-buk
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I tried to donate blood today. Never again, too
many stupid questions asked.
Who’s is it? Where did You get it?
Why is it in a bucket?😾
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Those of you that come to Facebook to correct people’s grammar you think you know engish neh?what is the past tense of bread?.
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You take out your stomach only to find out
that you were pregnant with twin,
you found it already 1
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Her: since u slept with me, u never text,
call or give me money for my hair😒😒😒
.
Me: Have u ever seen a president campaign
after winning the elections?
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If you think a shot of an AK47 gun is loud* *then you have never*
*heard a sound of a falling pot lid* *
when you are trying to steal meat at night* 🍯
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My parents haven’t apologize
to me for making me ugly
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No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference btwn the two words “COMPLETE” and “FINISHED”. Some people say there is no difference between ”COMPLETE” and “FINISHED”, but there is. When you marry the right woman you are COMPLETE and when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED! When your wife catches you with another woman you are COMPLETELY FINISHED and when your wife likes shopping so much you are FINISHED COMPLETELY!
Knowledge will kill me
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*After staging a coup in my house, I went to the sitting room to announce to my kids that my husband was now under bedroom arrest. “Your dad is safe and sound and his security is guaranteed. he remains the father and first in command of this house. However, I am only targeting the FEMALE criminals SURROUNDING HIS BONUS*
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Your Boyfriend Is With You Because
He Couldn’t Get The Girl He Wanted!!!
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Wife: I have good news nd bad news for you.. Which one I shld start with??
Husband: Im very busy tell me the good news only
Wife: The air bags in our AUDI is working nicely!!
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