*Lawyers will always complicate simple matters!!!*

*Who is a Lawyer?*
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a brief.

A Professor stepped into a law class and threw an orange at one of his students and said *”Give it as a gift to any of your friends now”.*

The boy said to one of his friends: *”Tee, I give this orange to you as a gift”.*

The Professor gave him a stern look and said: *”Give it to him like a lawyer!!!”.*

Immediately, the boy straightened up, cleared his throat and began:

*”I, Lucky Kunene adult, male of 16, Murray Street, Pretoria, hereby with all intent and purposes, willfully give unto you, Mr Goodluck Mabaso, of 22 Brown Street, Pretoria this citrus with its skin, seeds, segments, juice and supple innings that you may exercise actual and proprietary rights thereon, to hold unto same as a gift, a bequest, an endowment validly so transferred, given out, bequeathed, alienated, assigned, that you may eat, lick, devour, suck, make juice out of, munch or grant, give out, devolve, alienate in your rightful capacity as the owner either in actual, virtual or constructive capacity of an agent or attorney as may be chosen by you, that the said citrus may be treated in the aforementioned ways or other ways not so listed but not as a weapon to be thrown at persons or animals with malicious intent to hurt, inflict pain or serve as an incendiary action to incite unrest of any kind, but that the said citrus may be used in such beneficial capacity or simply be destroyed in such exercise of legal and equitable ownership as may be fit by the beneficiary of this bequest

Ladies, funny Guys are dangerous.
They make you laugh and laugh and laugh…
Then Boom! You’re naked

Yesterday I was with my Girlfriend in my room..
.
Mmmm this weather though..after some minutes she told me to make her feel like a woman…I quickly collected dirty clothes and give them to her..
Suddenly she left and I hope she’s going to buy soap

Me: unlock your phone😏🙄🙄🙄

Her: Babie so are we going to breakup like this😓😓😓

Thats when you will know that ubufebe is real

My Problem is Not That Girls Fall During Deliverance,
But The Way They Fall And Still Remember To
Close Their Legs Damn Shit Kills Me

I wonder who told black parents that boys make girls fail at school..!

A man was walking
down the street when he was
accosted by a particularly dirty
and shabby-looking homeless
man who asked him for a couple
of cash for dinner.
The man took out his wallet,
extracted 1k and asked, “If I give
you this money, will you buy
some beer with it instead of
dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years
ago,” the homeless man replied.
“Will you use it to go fishing
instead of buying food?” the man
asked.
“No, I don’t waste time fishing,”
the homeless man said. “I spend
all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on green
fees at a golf course instead of
food?” the man asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the
homeless man. “I haven’t played
golf in 20 years!”
“Will you spend the money on a
woman in the red light district
instead of food?” the man asked.
“What disease would I get for
1k?” exclaimed the homeless
man.
“Well,” said the man, “I’m not
going to give you the money.
Instead,
I’m going to take you home for a
terrific dinner cooked by my
wife.”
The homeless man was
astounded.
“Won’t your wife be furious with
you for doing that? I know I’m
dirty and I probably smell pretty
disgusting.”
The man replied, “That’s okay.
It’s important for her to see what
a man looks like after he has
given up beer, fishing, golf and
s**

We are experiencing the only time in history
where lazy people have a better chance of survival…

A grade 2 kid was coming from school he entered the taxi and he started singing “if my father was a King my mother will be a Queen and I’ll be a Prince”
The taxi driver silenced the kid but the kid continued “if my father was the President my mother will be the First Lady and I’ll be the First Son”
then with anger the taxi driver asked the kid “what if your father was a robber what will your mother be and what will you be”
and the boy said “if my father was a robber my mother will be a prostitute and I’ll be a taxi driver

A man at work calls home and his 8 years old daughter picks the phone:
“Hi honey, this is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?”
“No daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” The little girl quipped.
“After a brief pause daddy says, “But honey you haven’t got an uncle Paul!”
“Oh yes I do, and he is upstairs in the room with mommy right now.”
Brief pause,“ Uh okay then, this is what I want you to do: put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door, and shout to mommy that daddy’s car has just arrived at the gate.”
“Ok daddy just a minute….”
A while later the little girl comes back to the phone, “Done it daddy.
””What happened honey?”
“Well, mommy got scared and jumped out of the bed naked, ran round the room screaming, tripped over, and knocked her head on the staircase ,now she is not moving at all.”
“What about Uncle Paul?” asked Dad. He jumped out the window into the swimming pool, but I guess he didn’t know you emptied the water last week. He hit the bottom and I think he’s dead.”
After a really long pause this time… Daddy says, “Swimming pool, but we don’t have a swimming pool! Is this 486-5731?”
“No, this is 486-5713” “Sorry wrong number….!!!!”

My neighbour has started playing Kulungile Baba Since Friday…… I think his daughter has failed Again…..

Nowadays It’s Hard To Tell Whether A Girl
Is Walking With Her Father Or Bae..