Yaz When you been single for long you can’t even spell the word ” relashinsheep “
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Rich and his wife are waiting at the bus stop, with their 8 children👪
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A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children are able to fit in the bus. So Rich and the blind man decide to walk🚶🚶
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After a while Rich gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man and says to him; “Why don’t you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!!”😠
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The blind man replies: “If you had been putting a rubber at the end of YOUR ***k, we’d both be sitting in the bus!!!”
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Parents today are afraid to beat their kids.
Meanwhile I’m here remembering the time my mother factory reset me with a slap.
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Good sex will make a girl return the next
day uninvited with poor excuses like ” I left
my used recharge voucher yesterday “
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Listen here 👏🏽
Limpompo will always be Limpompo. Stop correcting us.🖐🏽 🤣🤣 if you object we’ll add another mpo!! Limpompompo!!!
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How long do you wait before you
introduce your girlfriend to your child?lets
say you have been dating for 5 years and
the child is 2 years old.
I will listen to The Radio
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Teacher : Yes, class today i want
everyone of you to give me an
example of things that we Can SUCK..
BRIAN : An Ice-cream..
Teacher : Good
Teacher,, Yes Jane..
Jane : Sweets..
Teacher : Oooh, very Good jane
Jacky raised his Hand.
Teacher : Yes jacky?
Jacky : Light Bulb..
The Teacher got interested and
said,”Oooh, No Little jacky, Why do
you think that a Light Bulb can be Sucked?”
Jacky answered,”Well Ma’am,
yesterday night i Passed near my Parents’
Bedroom and overheard my Mum, telling My
Dad, “SWEET HEART,
Please turn the Light off I Wanna Suck that
Thing..!!”” .
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5 ways for man to be completely happy.
1. Be with a woman who makes you laugh
2. Be with a woman who gives you her time
3. Be with a woman who takes care of you
4. Be with a woman who really loves you
5. Finally, make sure these four women don’t know each other!
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Dating a girl with a big head is not a problem,
the problem comes when she wants to
sleep on your chest with that tombstone.
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I remember my father once caught me
watching etv Porn back in 2007 and
I pretended to be asleep.
My family tried to wake me up for 3days
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*I have NEVER heard Pastors preaching
about*
*the Maps behind the Bible.*
*I think they are hiding directions to
HEAVEN from us*
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WHY MEN ARE SO HONEST*
One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river’.
When he cried out, the Angel appeared & asked, *”Why are you crying?”*
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water & he needed it to make a living.
The Angel went down into the water & reappeared with a *Golden Axe*. “Is this your axe?” the Angel asked. The woodcutter replied: *”No.”*
The Angel again went down & came up with a *Silver Axe.* “Is this your axe?” the Angel asked. Again, the woodcutter replied: *”No.”*
The Angel went down again & came up with an *Iron Axe*. “Is this your axe?” the Angel asked. The woodcutter replied: *”Yes.”*
The Angel was pleased with the man’s honesty & gave him all 3 Axes to keep, & the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, & his wife fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Angel again appeared & asked him: “Why are you crying?”
*”Oh, my wife has fallen into the water!”*
The Angel went down into the water & came up with *Pamela Anderson*
“Is this your wife?” the Angel asked. *”Yes,”* cried the woodcutter.
The Angel was furious. *”You lied!* That is an untruth!” The woodcutter replied, “Oh, forgive me, It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said *’NO’* to *Pamela* , you would have come up with *Angelina Jolie *. Then if I said *’NO’* to her, you would have come up with *MY WIFE*. Had I then said *’YES,’ you would have given me all 3.*
I’m a poor man, & not able to take care of 3 wives, so *THAT’S why I said YES to Pamela .”*
The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a *good & honorable reason & for the benefit of others.*
That’s our story, &
we’re sticking to it!
*MEN ARE TRULY HONORABLE!* HAVE A SWEET DAY
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One Day, While A Woodcutter Was Cutting A Branch Of A Tree Above A River, His Axe Fell Into The River.
When He Cried Out, The Lord Appeared And Asked: “Why Are You Crying?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “His Axe Has Fallen Into Water, And He Needed The Axe To Make His Living”
The Lord Went Down Into The Water And Reappeared With A Golden Axe.
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Axe?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “No”
The Lord Again Went Down And Came Up With A Silver Axe.
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Axe?”
Again, The Woodcutter Replied: “No”
The Lord Went Down Again And Came Up With An Iron Axe.
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Axe?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “Yes”
The Lord Was Pleased With The Man’s Honesty And Gave Him All Three Axes To Keep, And The Woodcutter Went Home Happy.
Some Time Later The Woodcutter Was Walking With His Wife Along The Riverbank, And His Wife Fell Into The River.
When He Cried Out, The Lord Again Appeared And Asked Him: “Why Are You Crying?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “Oh Lord, My Wife Has Fallen Into The Water”
The Lord Went Down Into The Water And Came Up With Angelina Jolie
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Wife?”
The Woodcutter Cried: “Yes”
The Lord Was Furious. “You Lied! That Is An Untruth”
The Woodcutter Replied: “Oh, Forgive Me, My Lord. It Is A Misunderstanding. You See, If I Had Said ‘No’ To Angelina Jolie, You Would Have Come Up With Aishwarya Rai. Then If I Said ‘No’ To Her, You Would Have Come Up With My Wife. Had I Then Said ‘Yes’ You Would Have Given Me All Three. Lord, I Am A Poor Man, And Am Not Able To Take Care Of All Three Wives, So That’s Why I Said ‘Yes’ To Angelina Jolie”
Moral Of The Story: “Whenever A Man Lies, It Is For A Good And Honorable Reason, And For The Benefit Of Others.
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Nobody cheat like a guy who always say
“The problem is that you don’t trust me”
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I left my phone at home, when I returned,I found 30 missed calls from my grandma.when i asked her why she called me. She told me that she wanted to tell me that i left my phone
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If your bae says do whatever makes you happy
just know that you already have a replacement
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