Me: babe can u please come and ride me😐
Her: i don’t have a driver’s licence

When i grow up i always wanted to date a coloured chick ^_^
until i found out of their culture of losing front teeth. -_- -_-
..
Nah i won’t survive yazi. :/

Did you know???
–
A male’s private organ is the lightest thing in the world
and can be lifted by just thinking.

Most guys are single because they refuse to answer this question;
“How did you get my number?”

If she doesn’t want to introduce you to her parents,
just impregnate her and wait.
My brother,
her parents will come and introduce themselves to you.

Doc to an injured Patient
–
Doctor : “how did this happen??
–
Man : “My wife kicked me out”
–
Doctor : “but it is not worth jumping down from a 2nd floor.
–
Man : “doctor, you dont understand……I said she kicked me out literally”

Having an “Ex” as your friend is like using a sugarcane as a walking stick.
Once you feel thirsty you will eventually chew it my friend.

Ladies, please stop staring at us
when we’re walking with our girlfriends in town.
We’re aware we made the wrong decision!

I almost cried in the Bus today when one
girl said “Please increase the volume of the window,
heat is happening to me”.

My mom just looked at my son
and said hi “study group”

While others are waking up to: ‘Goodmorning babe’ and ‘I love you’ texts…
Some of us wake up to: “Battery full. Remove charger”.

A cop pulls a guy over: Sir, why were you speeeding? Officer, I wanted to get home quickly, before I became really drunk.
….
I really love you ppl

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,”he observed. To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.” He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand andwhispered, “Come on, Dick, let’s go.”

Teacher: Rainbow, define the word “coward”.
Rainbow: It’s a cow that gets award.

I don’t know why I’ve been suspended.