One evening last week, my wife and I were
getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat
up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I
just want you to hold me.”
I said, “WHAT?!! What was that?!”
So she says the words that every husband on
the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional
needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
physical needs as a man.” She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that
night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of
work to spend time with her. We went out to a
nice lunch and then went shopping at a big
department store. I walked around with her
while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which
one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each
outfit.”
We went on to the jewellery department where
she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She
was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think
she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know
how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s
fine, honey.” She was so excited.
Smiling with anticipation, she finally said, “I
think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted
out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw
dropped, “WHAT?”
I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch
with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was
going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I
buy you?
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