Matomane promised his girlfriend twenty thousand rands while chatting with her on whatsapp. A week later, she unexpectedly visited him while he was about to travel.
“Honey! Where’s the R20 000 you promised me last week?” She asked.
“I don’t have any money with me right now babe, but here’s my ATM card. You can withdraw all the amount in my account”
He gave her his ATM card and left for durban, knowing fully well he had nothing in his account.
Halfway through his journey, he received a call from his friend,
“Hello. Matomane,
I just deposited the R100,000 I’ve been owing you for six months now into your account now. You should get an alert on your phone soon.”
Matomane is right now in the hospital for crashing his car into a tree.

A woman is like a swimming pool.Dont bother finding out who swam before you, who is swimming with you,who will swim after you. Just enjoy swimming.

Girls think it’s cute smoking weed with their boyfriends. he will leave you for a decent girl then use your story for a testimony at church

If there was an award for laziness I’d probably send someone else
to pick it up for me.

That annoying Moment when you get into the
most comfortable position in bed
then you realize you forgot to switch off the💡light…

If your girlfriend 💁 comes home from school
and
says “School was fun..”
She is cheating!
My brother 👌 there is nothing ✋ fun about school!
She is
dating 💑 the lecturer.

Adam and Eve must’ve been white, they only took one apple, if they were Black, all the apples would’ve been gone plus the tree for fire wood. If they were Chinese, they would have eaten the snake as well

What are the most painful words your ex have ever said to you?

Man : “bby the way I love you,
I would even swim through an ocean just for you”
–
Woman : “Really honey?”
–
Man : “No I’m kidding dear, there are sharks in there”

From 16 December to 1st January,
if your parents don’t allow you to go party
just pretend to be sick and inbox us
we will come fetch you with an Ambulance

Pastor found a baboon that could talk. So
he taught it how to sing, pray and preach.
At one Sunday service, Pastor says to
congregation, “The Baboon is going to
pray today.” The Baboon sat still and the
Pastor repeated but the Baboon did not
respond. After the service pastor asks,
“Why didn’t you want to pray when I
asked you to?” Baboon says, “Was it
necessary to say baboon? You could have
at least said Brother Babs!”