If you need the nearest and cheapest guesthouse ask married men💍
they always know these things..

Girls will Dump you, then after 5minutes
text you and say “Is that what you
wanted??

I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead i bought a scratch ticket for a brand new car. When i got home,i explained to my dad what i did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day,when my dad woke up and opened the door,outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me,because the car was from the electricity company,they were there to cut off the electricity, my dad beat the crap out of me again

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if he would hear his confession. “Of course, my son,” said the priest. “Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.” “That’s a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess,” said the priest. “It’s worse than that, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favours,” continued the old man.
“Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly,” said the priest. “Thanks, Father,” said the old man.
“That’s a load off of my mind. The old man asked, “Do I need to tell her that the war is over?”

Kilms was once robbed by armed robbers, the bag 💼 which he was holding was taken by them. After the robbers had left, he was just laughing while he was on his way back home. Senzo saw him laughing, thinking he was mad. He asked him:
.
.
SENZO: Why are you laughing? What’s funny? 😒
.
KILMS: I was robbed by armed robbers 😁
.
SENZO: Is that why you are laughing? 😏
.
KILMS: Not just that, they took my bag 😅
.
SENZO: But that’s not funny bro 😑
.
KILMS: I’m laughing because the bag which I was holding is containing fresh “Shit” 💩 of mine which I wanted to go and throw away, so I guess they helped me 😂

Dressing well & smelling nice even when you are broke isn’t fake life.
You must not look like a beggar just because you are broke..!

They called me at Police station and they said
someone opened a case for me.
Father God I am praying
I hope it’s the case of Heineken or Castle Lite.

Taking pictures in people’s cars and houses will confuse your ancestors,
they will think you are living a good life yet you are struggling.

I did 100 push ups today, tomorrow I’m doing 300.
The day after, I will continue lying

When black coffee’s wife is angry
She closes the mayonnaise
Tightly

My Dad Opened a Brand New Zoo and made the entry R10 000 and nobody came so he reduced it to R5 000 still nobody came he reduced it again to R2 500 still Nobody Came he reduced it again to R500 Still Nobody Came and finally he made it for free and the zoo was filled within a minute… So He opened the lions cage and quickly made the exit R30 000

Gents if you want a girlfriend try those girls
who are always sharing posts…
Most of them are lonely