Have you noticed that Girls have “Three Voices”:
•°•
ONE☝, Is used when answering calls📱.
◽
TWO✌, The other one at home 🏡 when
she is talking to her siblings👪 (Her Original Voice) ®
◽
THREE👌, Is used when she’s talking to her “Bae”

Side chicks are young girls between the
ages of 16-22.So if you are 23yrs and
upwards dating a married man,my sister
you are a side hen,ostrich,peacock,turcky
and any other grown bird*

Are U 18 yrs & above?
Do u have a valid ID passport?
Can U speak English & any other language?
Are U lookin for a 9am – 5
pm Job with a Monthly Salary of N350,000 and a weekly allowance of N20,000?
No work during wkends & u only have to work half-day on Fridays?
If U’re interested in this Job, Pls contact me with Ur
full details … SO DAT WE CAN LOOK FOR IT 2GEDA…COS
Am also looking for that type JOB:😂😂😂😂😂😂

I saved my Girl’s contact
with her real name on my
phone book but usually when i
pick her call i say “HI LOVE”….
.
So yesterday, i ran out of air time
while talking to her, so i had to
use my friend’s phone to call her
without he notice, when i dialed
her number on his phone, it
displayed “MY LOVE”. . . So i was
wondering how that
smartphone knew i was calling
her.
.
Samsung Smart phones are really smart shame!!!!

Dad: Who do u like more dad or mom?😐
–
Rich: Both😉
–
Dad: Ok if i go to UK and your mom goes to America, where will u go?😕
–
Rich: America😉
–
Dad: That shows u love your mom more😓
–
Rich: No it shows I love America more than I love UK😃
–
Dad: ok, If i go to America and your mom goes to UK, where will u go?😑
–
Rich: UK😁
–
Dad: why😠😠😠
–
Rich:😂😂 I choose UK because I went to America before😉
–
Dad: when???😨
–
Rich: During the first question

*To all real men out there you should please note*
Next year We Dating Girls With Real Eyebrows..
The Drawers Will Draw Their Own Boyfriends.
Happy 2018

WATCHING FOOTBALL WITH A WOMAN IS REALLY STRESSFUL.
Wife: which teams are playing?
Husband: Arsenal vs Manchester United
Wife : oooh wonderful! I love Arsenal..
Husband: that’s a good team…
Wife: is Drogba playing?
Husband: he doesn’t play for any of these teams…
Wife: okay sweeet…is that Chris Brown?
Husband: [bored] no he is Chamberlain…
Wife : okay but they look the same…what’s that yellow card for?
Husband: its a warning to the player…
After few minutes Rooney scores for Manchester United….
Wife: [cerebrates in high mood] is that Chamberlain who has scored?
Husband: [calmly] no its Rooney for Manchester United…!!
Wife: [furious] how? it should be arsenal who
should have scored!!
Husband: [silent]
Wife: what is that red card for?
Husband : [bored] that means the player should go out of the pitch for misbehaving.
Wife: then is he going to be a coach?
Husband:[unwilling to answer] aaaaaaa no…
Wife: its the same with traffic lights: yellow=warning; red=danger.
Husband: exactly darling…
Wife :what about the green card?
Husband: mmmm nothing of that kind in a field of play….
Wife: I want arsenal to win the world cup…
Husband: [silent]
Wife: who is that man standing, who looks like Mr. Bean?
Husband: [bored] it’s the Arsenal coach ….Arsene Wenger.
Wife: that means the other opponent’s coach is Manchest Wenger?
Husband: [changes the channel]

*Lion is not the most dangerous Animal on Earth*
*🤵 Samson killed lion*
*👩 Woman killed Samson*
*…what else do you want to know?!

I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead i bought a lottery ticket for a brand new car. When i got home,i explained to my dad what i did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day,when my dad woke up and opened the door, outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me, because the car was from the electricity company, they were there to cut off the electricity, my dad beat the crap out of me again

*I think 🤔we have to start removing some people from this App,
especially those who can’t: reed, spale, or spick gud Engilis

Somewhere in SA, a young girl is
telling your father “Grow up dude”

A girl started noticing a guy who stands in front of her home everyday in the evening. She noticed the guy always comes mostly in the evenings and weekends. The guy never tried to talk to her nor showed any gesture, he just moves here and there by looking into his mobile phone and occasionally stealing a stare at her. It went on like that for a year and the girl understood the guy was in love with her but was too shy to express his feelings. So, she told her parents. They too saw him and liked him. They discussed with her grandparents about a likely marriage. But wanted her to make the first move. The next day , she went to him and said, Hi. I’m Jada. He said, Hi. I’m Smith. Hearing this, the girl was very happy as the names were matching like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett. The girl went on and said, I really appreciate your patience and decency. You have been standing in front of my home everyday for about a year now. So, I understand that you are in love with me but too shy to say it. I think i really like you too and would love it if we get married. The guy smiled and said, Forgive me sister! Actually your home’s WIFI doesn’t have a password. So, i come here every evening after work to use free wi-fi to chat with my girlfriend!