Breaking News💔💔💔💔💔….
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I am not going bath🛀🛁 until the temperature is above my age!!!
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Where did you buy your phone from?😕
Me: Nandos😉
N.B: correct answers not allowed
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She tag us and be like
I’m sleeping with Mbula and 32 others….
Like really..???
The truth will set you free….
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That awkward moment when you greet everyone and no one respond 🤣😂😂
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A girl at a bus stop spotted a handsome man and without hesitation went to him and said ” you look cute.. I like you.”…. The man out of shock simply placed his hand on her shoulder and said “My dear, this love and infatuation are all nothing. You are too young to be behaving like this. Pls go home and study hard so that you can have a successful life.”
He then placed a piece of paper on her hand and said ” I have written some words of wisdom and bible verses for you. Read them before you go to sleep.” And then he walked away.
The girl went back to her hostel in shame and before she slept she opened up the paper and read thus: “Are you blind? My wife was standing behind me. Any way, this is my number. Call me anytime…… By the way, I like you too!”
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– When You in The Taxi And You Hear Bundle Of Joy Playing With The English You Need For An interview
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If someone tells you a secret and you disclose it,
you’re the reason behind the proverb “Walls Have Ears”..!
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Boknoy caught boknoy sleeping in the middle of his class.
Teacher: Boknoy! (shout)
Boknoy: (awakened) ah yes, ma’am?
Teacher: why are you sleeping?
Boknoy: Ah, eh. Because Ma’am.
Teacher: because what?
Boknoy: your voice is very delicious, ma’am. You are like an angel to go down to heaven to sing us. That’s why I fell asleep.
Teacher: so why others don’t sleep?
Boknoy: because they are not listening to you, ma’am.
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This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog,
keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog,
30 dog, seconds dog! …
Now read without the word dog.
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A couple of young children are at day care one day when one of the little girls approaches Tommy and says, “Hey, Tommy, wanna play house?”
“Sure! What do you want me to do?” he asks.
The little girl replies, “I want you to communicate your feelings.”
“Communicate my feelings?” questions a bewildered Tommy. “I have no idea what that means…”
The little girl smirks and says, “Perfect. You can be the husband.”
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My Teacher asked me to define “Trouble”
I walked to d front of the class and said
“Trouble is when you drove on it bike🛵 to the Police 👮 checking point without a driving license. So u were canned 24 times with wire. As u entered ur bike🛵 with tears😭😭, You shouted “God punish you”, pointing at the Police. Unluckily Your bike🛵 did not start again.😂😂😂
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I don’t know who needs to hear this but hey
“that snake you call your best friend texts your BF more than you do”
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A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don’t know which side to write the other 5!
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The teacher said to his class one day, “Please stand up, anyone who thinks they’re stupid.”
Nobody stood up so the teacher said, “I’m sure there are some stupid students in this class!”
At this point Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, “Oh Johnny! So you think you’re stupid then?”
Little Johnny replied, “No, I just felt bad that you were standing up on your own
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You never actually watched a full movie coz u blinked 🤞🤞😁
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A Girl Returns Home After 5 Yrs.
FATHER: (Angry) Where the hell have you been all these years?!
GIRL: I was working as a Prostitute in California
FATHER: What!!! Get out of my house you Whore! I don’t want to see u or your face again do you understand?!
GIRL: (Crying) Before I go dad, I came to give you $2.5million cheque, and here is 1 million for my brother. I have bought a big house in Los-angels for you with everything in it including a Benz & a Hummer.
Bye dad.
FATHER: What kind of work did you say you were doing?
GIRL: (Crying out loud) A prostitute dad!
FATHER: Come and give daddy a hug, I thought you said you were a ‘PROSECUTOR
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