That moment when you eat soft porridge with fork and knife
and everyone at Breakfast table stares at you like
you have your intestine out.
Like really,
come on this is 2018 not 2017 things must change

5 ways for man to be completely happy.
1. Be with a woman who makes you laugh
2. Be with a woman who gives you her time
3. Be with a woman who takes care of you
4. Be with a woman who really loves you
5. Finally, make sure these four women don’t know each other!

Y’all Demanding BLACK FRIDAY Specials 😏 ,
What if Your Employer Paid You Half The Salary
And call it A BLACK FRIDAY Special For Him ?

He knows when your period ends but
he doesn’t know your birthday?
My sister is your boyfriend a medical doctor?

My sister, When You Wanna Slam His Bedroom Door🚪
Soo Bad But Then It’s A Curtain..! ☝

I made Vodacom people stupid today,
I bought R29 airtime n I threw it away without inserting it

One evening last week, my wife and I were
getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat
up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I
just want you to hold me.”
I said, “WHAT?!! What was that?!”
So she says the words that every husband on
the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional
needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
physical needs as a man.” She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that
night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of
work to spend time with her. We went out to a
nice lunch and then went shopping at a big
department store. I walked around with her
while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which
one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each
outfit.”
We went on to the jewellery department where
she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She
was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think
she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know
how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s
fine, honey.” She was so excited.
Smiling with anticipation, she finally said, “I
think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted
out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw
dropped, “WHAT?”
I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch
with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was
going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I
buy you?

JOKE OF THE DAY
.
Wife sent a message to her husband
“Don’t forget to buy vegetables on your way
back from office, and Priscilla says hi to
you “.
.
Husband : Who is Priscilla ?
.
Wife : Nobody, I was just making sure that
you read my message
Twist in the tale…..
.
Husband : But I’m with Priscilla right now ,
so which Priscilla are you talking about?
.
Wife : Where are you….?
Husband: Near the vegetable market
Wife : Wait I’m coming there right now …!
.
After 10 minutes she texts her husband
“Where are you”?
Husband:”I’m at office. Now that u’r at the
market, buy whatever vegetables you need.

There are people on your friend list who look at your timeline all the time, but they don’t really like you; so they never comment or like anything you post. But they won’t unfriend you because they are too scared not to know what you are doing.🙊
•°•°•
The level of witchcraft in Africa will kill someone!!

You’ll Never Hear A Lady’s Real Voice Unless
She’s Being Chased By A Dog

Hi guys. I lost my phone with all your contacts. Please DM me with your full names and surname, your number, ID number, certified ID copy of your parent, gender, email address, certified copy of proof of residence and your ID photo.
Thank you.

LADIES A man without money is not broke,
he is temporary unable to dispense cash…
just like ATM. Guys are u with me?