Some of you put on too much make-up, we should just compliment your make-up manufacture instead of you. “You look good today AVON” 😂😂

THIS WOMAN…
An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said,
“Pardon me, madam..
I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress
is blowing up in this high wind?”
“Yes, I know,” said the lady.
“I need both my hands
to hold onto this hat.”
“But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties
and your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man
and replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 75 years old.
I just bought this hat yesterday!”

A fat Teacher nd a Waves
Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?”
Waves: “Meat!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
Waves: “Bacon!”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
Waves: “Homework!”

That moment when you come to your bae wearing panties with laces, and he just takes it off together with your jeans and throws them away behind the bed not bothering looking at it.

In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunk, with a ragged, dirty looking (Skebhe) came to apply for the position.
The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.
They tested him. Skebhe was given a glass with a drink.
He tried it and said, “It’s red wine, a Muscat, three years old, grown on a western of the Cape slope, matured in steel containers.”
“Correct,” said the boss, Another glass.
“It’s red wine, cabernet, eight years old,a western slope, oak barrels.”
“Correct.” The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary to suggest something.
She brought in a glass of urine.
Skebhe The alcoholic tried it.
“It’s a Nguni girl (Zulu,Swazi or Xhosa) 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the work office. And if you don’t give me the job, I’ll also tell who the father is.”
The director collapsed.

Accounting be like
.
Themba earns 20 000 monthly salary
and he takes 100 000 loan to buy a house
.
Q_WHO KILLED STEVE BIKO (25 MARKS)

Dear Female Seniors

Can this year see who is who toe? Leave those weave and make up at home. We are tired of dating our relatives

How to know that you are Falsely Christian.
•°•~⬛~•°•
1⃣. You have many years going to church but still struggling with sins (adultery, lies, etc).
🔸
2⃣. You don’t read the whole Bible.
🔸
3⃣. Always talks about the name of the church or leaders more than Jesus Christ.
🔸
4⃣. Thinking and using water, uniform, stickers, pictures etc to protect your car, yourself and house. That’s idolatry!.
🔸
5⃣. Church you attend sings praising songs about the leader of the church.
🔸
6⃣. Always moving from one church to another for miracles.
🔸
7⃣. Thinking that marrying more than one wife is not a sin. it’s actually witchcraft.
🔸
8⃣. No praying and thinking only the church leader can pray for you and make your prayer known to God.
🔸
9⃣. Killing animals as a sacrifice.
🔸
🔟. Thinking 30 minutes or 1 hour is enough on Sabbath. Sabbath is the day of the Lord not yours.

I like to make people laugh😂. If I don’t make you laugh🙄,
remember🚶 I said ‘people’🤷 not animals..!

Before I die I’m going eat a whole bag of popcorn seeds…
The cremation will be epic!

IN THE TAXI..
DRIVER: IF UR SON IS 2 YEARS OLD THEN U SHOULD PAY FOR HIM.
ME: HE’S ONLY 24 MONTHS OLD.
DRIVER: OKAY..I THOUGHT HE’S 2 YEARS OLD.. SO DON’T PAY FOR HIM, HE IS STILL YOUNG.. VERY YOUNG.
ME: 😇

Whether I have a house or not if I’m dating a girl with a house,
I become the man of that house and she has to listen to me,
if not she must get out of my house