There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn’t swim.
When a boat came by, the captain yelled, “Do you need help, sir?”
The preacher calmly said “No, God will save me.”

A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked,
“Hey, do you need help?”

The preacher replied again, “No God will save me.”
Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, “Why didn’t you save me?”

God replied, “Fool, I sent you two boats!”

If your boyfriend says “I will marry you when the time is right”
Ask him if he has ever seen a wrong time.
Has he ever seen 7:60pm???

When you ignore Bae for one day… And you call her the next day and find out that she already had six miscarriages, three abortions and dumped five Boyfriend’s .!!!

Speaking on behalf of all girls!
Boys stop giving us your money
we’re not your kids😾
We only care about what’s in the trouser.

I just saw on fb that the children born 9 months from now will be know as the ‘children of the quarn’ and I can’t stop giggling

I think this December is going to be the best December we’ve ever experienced 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥I’ve already bought ice cubes for it and a cabbage for January just in case to be on the safe side

Guys, could you please stop praying in English. 😂 😂 😂
.
Because there’s something happening. All the blessings are going to white people. 💖

pastor got out of his car and was slapped by an unknown man for no reason.
Everyone around was wondering what the pastor was going to do.
He moved three steps back and gave the man a serious slap…serious heart breaking slap.
A lady nearby even felt the impact of the slap in her face and asked the pastor, ‘Why didn’t u forgive?’.He said , ” there’s more blessing in giving than receiving”.

Car owners , let’s confuse them with car parts
Me: overtake 😄