Steal your Girlfriend’s phone and text her Best friend
“I’m pregnant”. If she replies “By who”, then your girl is a “HOE”
You will thank me later..

“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking,
but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful,
when her lips are closed..!”

Dear Death
English Says”Ladies First” Plz Follow That Rule Too

A CCTV footage doesn’t scare me✋
I’ve denied my own fingerprints before

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life,
unless I buy something.

Women are attracted to stupid shit like guys that can dance.🕺🏽🙄 How is that beneficial? Can he change a tyre?🤔 Is “nay le walk” gonna take you home?

When i go to a birthday party and the cake and drink doesnt reach me,
i will just remove generator wire.
did u think i came because you are growing older?

I was in a 🚕taxi yesterday
when I suddenly realized I
desperately needed to fart. The taxi driver
was playing a very loud music , the music was so loud, so I timed my fart with the
beat of the music, I was releasing
the fart alongside the music so
that nobody would hear the
sound of the fart, although it was
loud too. . When I finished, I
started feeling better, but I
looked around and noticed that
everyone in the taxi
frowned and was staring at me. .
Then I suddenly remembered
that f*ck I was listening to the music
with my Earphones.

Rules for my Girl
,
*Carry at least R100 whenever you come to
visit me
.
*Come with some food, you know I’m broke
.
*Steal your parents money and give it to me
.
*Whenever we make love you must thank
me with at least a pack of cigarettes
.
*I love a woman more if she buys me
cigarettes
.
*Please call me at least 5 times a day
.
*Send me a good morning, good day and
goodnight message everyday
.
*I don’t come to your place, you must
always come to my place
.
*You must let me fuck your friend, if you
don’t want me to cheat.
.
*We don’t go out, unless you willing to pay.
I’m broke mos.
.
*Don’t come when you on your
periods,unless you don’t mind me crossing
the robot.
.
*Buy me clothes please, at least after each
and every 3 months
.
*I hate women who eat more than me
.
*When I’m moody, kindly give me money or
good sex
.
*When I’m sad, kindly buy me a beer
.
*Read my mind, you need to study my mind,
you need to know when I’m hungry
.
*Lastly please buy me airtime, every Friday
,
Oh! And at least have a side nigga who’ll
give you money so that you can give it to
me.

How much money do you think
can solve your current problems?

I Don’t Know Who Needs To Hear This But
.
.
.Don’t Lose Yourself Trying To impress Us
On Social Media
WE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS…