Dear bae
● Laѕт Weeĸ I bought KFC you made it
Cнιcĸen Sтew, I kept quiet
● I bought Pιzza you spread Peanυт Bυттer
and Raмa, I kept quiet.
● Yesterday you poured Rιce Mayonnaιѕe
and Toмaтo Saυce while it’s still on a
Stove! Still I kept quiet.
●Today i forgot my phone at home, I came
back only to find 30 Mιѕѕed Callѕ Froм Yoυ,
when I ask what you wanted! You said
you wanted to tell me that I left my Pнone!
Aowa I’m done with you hey, Iт’ѕ Over
Sтrυυ!!
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Indian movies be like:
Voice:I luv u
Lips: let’s go & open a shop in South Africa
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Her : bbe I wanna cook u your favourite meal today
Him: can u cook a beer?
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I have one friend who always wear one outfit when
we going out.. nd he always asks me “how Do i
look?” Come on dude, You look like last week
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True love is when you wear your
Girlfriend’s underwear to show other
girls that You are already taken.
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She be busy swagging that she is 25 years
old without a baby but her body says
she has grandchildren.
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Private school: Good morning class
Learners: Good Morning Teacher.
Government school: Good Morning Class
Learners: Goooooooood Mooooorniiiing Teeeeaaacheeeeer 😯
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Kissing your Husband while he is asleep is one of the best gestures of love
but African women search pockets instead
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Being ignored by ur bf/ gf ain’t that bad
Hàve u ever been ignored by ur brain in the exam room ??
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That awkward moment when you really want to eat and
then there’s this visitor who is not showing a sign of leaving
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Before Exam Boy To His Girl-Friend
Boy: “Hey, All The Best”
Girl-Friend: “All The Best To You Too”
But Girl Scored 80 Marks And Boy Failed.
Moral: Only Boys Wish With True Heart.
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That moment when you call someone who owes you money and she don’t take your calls, you call 10 times and still no answer…“`
*Then you decide to send a message*
_”Hi lady, l’m not calling for the money issues. I just wanted to tell you that some girls were fighting for your husband in town today. It was a big match and he was just there watching and then one girl managed to escape and got in the car and they drove away”_
_*…then I press send button…*_
“`After some minutes she calls and you ignore, she keeps calling and you find 21missed calls from her and a message which reads “where was the fight, where did they go, did you recognize the girls please tell me, I’m falling apart”“`
_*just read and didn’t respond… She calls again, 5 times and I don’t answer then another message from her…*_
“`”I have your money can we meet and you tell me more…”“` “`then I reply, ok you can ewallet so that I pass by the filling station to refill then I will pick you and drive to one of the girls’ place coz I know them…“`
_after 2 mins I got an ewallet message, my money was fully paid…_
*I then switched off my phone and slept like a baby.
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Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”
The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”
The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s just 99 cents a word.”
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.’”
The telegraph operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?”
The brunette explains, “My sister’s blonde. She’ll read it very slow.”
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Judge : “why did you steal the car?”
–
Ronnie : “I had to get to work”
–
Judge : “why didn’t you use the bus?”
–
Ronnie : “I don’t have driver’s license for the bus”
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Do you know whenever I like a woman/lady as lover I always developing fair.
Can someone help me to averte my peculiar problem!
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Not Easy to be a Teacher !!!!!*
*TEACHER*: Our topic for today is Photosynthesis.
*TEACHER* : What is photosynthesis class?
*Cynthia*: Photosynthesis is our topic today.
*TEACHER* : How can we keep our school clean?
*Atem*: By staying at home.
*TEACHER* : What do you call mosquitoes in your language?
*Ngu*: We don’t call them, they come on their own.
*TEACHER* : Name the nation people hate most
*Asong*: Exami-nation
*TEACHER* : One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that??
*Lekeaka*: Future impossible tense.
*TEACHER* : John is climbing a tree to pick some
mangoes. ( Begin the sentence with Mangoes)
*Atabong* : Mangoes, John is coming to pick you
Please don’t Laugh Too much. Teachers have a steep mountain to climb.
*THE STRUGGLE CONTINUES*
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