Guys, you’re all invited to our wedding ( me & Mpho )
Date : 02-march-2019
Time : 10h00 am
Venue : Anywhere you see a tent

I’m not drunk, the floor just hates me,
the tables and chairs are bullies
and the walls get in my way.

Am I the only one who writes “Fast and the Furious”
when coming across “Race” in Application forms

I went to a chemist store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.
The woman I spoke to said she was the only pharmacist and since she and her sister owned the store, there are no male employee.
She asked if she could help me.
I said that I really would have preferred to speak with a male pharmacist. She assured me that she was completely professional and whatever it was that I needed to discuss, I could be confident that she would treat me with a high level of professionalism.
I reluctantly agreed and began by saying, “As a shy man, this is tough for me to discuss, but here it goes. I get erections every day that last more than four hours. This condition causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it.”
The pharmacist said, “Just a minute, I’ll talk to my sister.”
When she returned, she said, “We discussed it at length and this is the absolute best we can prescribe to you:
* 1/3rd ownership in the store.
* a company car
* A furnished house
* a king size bed and
* $15,000 a month as living expenses..” !!
What medication is this mara??

Stop sleeping while knowing that you’re broke 🙄
.
What if you woke up in Dubai ,,
where will you get money for flight to come back

“Dnt Be Angry If ur Girlfriend strts to act Weird nd crazy..
These humans use to talk to dolls and fed em real food”

Conversation with my crush😍😍💔😂
.
Her: Hi, how was you doing?
Me: Hi, i’m fine.
Her: Where did you Born?
Me: Where did I Born? How?
Her: Don’t be stupid, where did you Borned yourself?
Me: Come again?
Her: Which come?
Me: I mean repeat again!
Her: I said where did your Borning begin?
Me: I’m confused!
Her: Jeez! Ok, Born! Born! Your mom’s bottom drop you out, you crying “Nyweee! Nyweee! Nyweee! 😢” Place! Where your mom Bornet you?
…. I’m still looking for a place to faint @….

In a “Mental Hospital” of 38 patient’s, a journalist asks the Doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a mental patient or not to?

Dr: “Well, we fill a bathtub with water and then give the patient;
(a). a teaspoon,
(b). a glass,
(c). a bucket,
and ask them to empty the bathtub.”

Journalist: “Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger.”

Dr: “No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed No.39.
We will start further investigations on you!”

Technology Sucks 🤣🤣

A Wife Doing Her Make Up Early Morning Straight Out From Bed!!

Husband: Are You Crazy !?👿

Wife : Just Shut Up, I Need To Unlock My Phone. its On Face Recognition Feature And It Is Not Recognizing Me …!!!

Husband: 🤣😂🤣