Boy: It’s only six days to go.
Girl: Yeahhhhh!!! nd mmmmmh I can’t wait for that day.
Boy: Me too babe nd I just hope Liverpool beats FC Porto.
Girl: Tsek ….inja what about Valentine.

After smoking my weed😷
I saw two guys wearing matching outfits✌
I asked them if they were gay. And they arrested me.

Do Guys Know Girls Move On
Before They Even Break Up ?

When your girl forgets to hang up the call and you hear her saying: 😊😊😊
_
“Yho, askies. That was my uncle !!!”

Dating me and putting me on your d.p is not enough
I want to be your ringtone.

Pregnancy was once a very special thing
until 2000’s turned it into a hobby!

if Your Mom Doesn’t Complain About You Using Your Phone Too Much ,
Just Know That You Are Adopted 😏 ..
Don’t Argue With Me ✋ , Go Ask Your Father

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Cowra.He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer Peter replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial lawyers in Australia and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in North Cowra. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule’.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?”
The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.”
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very
slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you old fart. Now it’s my turn.”
(I love this part)
The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.”
MORAL:
When you are educated, you’ll believe only half of what you hear.
When you’re intelligent, you’ll know which half

*Lion is not the most dangerous Animal on Earth*
*🤵 Samson killed lion*
*👩 Woman killed Samson*
*…what else do you want to know?!

if you’re a dude & u go through your girl’s phone
while she not around, congratulations.
You’re a girl in a lesbian relationship.

Men can talk to each other for like a week without
even knowing each others names

Stay Away From Friends Who Become Moody After Getting Paid..!