*Here is the official letter that all men must send their female partner by the latest June 13, 2018*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Sweetheart;

The FIFA World Cup begins on the 14th of June.

During this period I won’t have a lot of time for you. It’s not that I’m cheating or no longer wish to be with you, but I will have to make ever effort to watch every single match.

I will not be attending any social events such as, weddings, funerals, parties etc. during this period so plz *DO NOT ASK!!!.*

I know you see it as only 22 men chasing a ball but it’s absolutely important that you keep such thoughts to yourself and do not express them during this period….

Here are a few guidelines (I won’t call them rules although you know they are) to ensure a smooth and argument free month:

1. Plz don’t say it’s just a game because it’s not!

2. Plz limit or avoid walking during matches

3. The remote control remains with me all the time

4. You support the team I support. Not the team that has guys you think are cute

5. Kindly place your phone on silent

6. *Never, ever walk in front of the TV while am watching a match!*

7. World Cup is played by countries only so plz don’t ask me which team is Arsenal

8. Finally, highlights are considered as important as the match itself, so yes I must watch the highlights as well!!

Thanks in advance, I look forward to your cooperation and your utter silence.

Sincerely yours,

——————
signature & date

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding…
Older Woman: “Is there a problem, Officer?”
Officer: “Ma’am, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?”
Older Woman: “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”
Officer: “Don’t have one?”
Older Woman: “Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.”
Officer: “I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.”
Older Woman: “I can’t do that. I stole this car, and I killed and hacked up the owner.”
Officer: “You what?”
Older Woman: “His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see”
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer
slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: “Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of “her vehicle.
Older woman: “Is there a problem sir?”
Officer 2: “One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.”
Older Woman: “Murdered the owner?”
Officer 2: “Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.”
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: “Is this your car, ma’am?”
Older Woman: “Yes, here are the registration papers.”
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.”
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: “Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.”
Older Woman: “Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.”
Moral of the story? Don’t Mess With Mature Ladies!!!

if your wife can’t cook no problem cook for yourself you are in a marriage not in a restaurant cook for yourself😊✋

If your husband doesn’t give you money no problem you are in a marriage not a bank…work and earn yours…
(50-50)😂😂

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?” “Sixteen,” the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. “How do you know that?” “Easy,” the little boy said. “All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer”

This Is A Quote From Baba Saxidas Book Titled, How To Live Longer

Never Reject Any Girl In Your Life,

B’coz A Gud Girl Gives You Hapiness,

And A Bad Girl Gives You Experience,

Both Are Essential In Life…

So Enjoy Every Girl.

Have a small wedding, invite 20 people.
Afterwards, apologize to everyone for not inviting them. They won’t die.

When You Drop Your Phone And Your Heart Hits The Ground
Before Your Phone Does

Ladies are so naive when it comes to their male friends👨,
they’ll be like: “He’s my bro, he would never try that with me”..!

the biggest mistake you can make is showing your child that
your phone has games

To those who failed📖📃
Do u still remember…
.
“SIR IT’S NOT YOUR PERIOD”

Sometimes you don’t realize your love for someone until they buy a car

American girl status i miss u Mike

British girl status oh gosh i miss u Leonard

Zimbabwean girl status i miss someone and you know your self

STOP IT!!!killing 10 boys with 1 statement

Use Hospital Language To Describe Your Relationship ? 😒

Me : We Tried All We Could

I was at shoprite then there’s this lady who was staring at me as if she had never seen someone drinking coke and putting it back in the fridge