This guy bathong !! Is he really gonna finish the 5 beers I bought him without telling me any of his family’s secrets. My money can’t go to waste like that, he has to tell me something

Stop it I liiike it

Ngrrrrrrrr ngrrrrrrr
Him::: Hello bbes
Her:::::hi Sam..I called to tell you that j can’t do this anymore..it’s getting hard by the day
Him::::can’t do what exactly?
Her:::I mean ,you don’t even have a car ..how will we go out ?
Him:::: hey hey hey ..hold up!…do YOU have a car ?
Her::no I don’t,But you’re a man and you’re the one who’s supposed to make a plan and have a car
Him:::ohhh I see ..so all the women that have cars,,are men ..is that what you’re telling me?
Her:::nooo no no
Him:::ohk ..does your father have a car ?
Her::::be he doesn’t Sam,, but that’s besides the point 🤷‍♀️
Him::::point my foot,,,you have 5 brothers ,do they have cars ?
Her:::no bbe they don’t but…
Him:::But what huh?

Don’t come up with stories..find R10 and come see me tomorrow 9am ..I’ll be home

Her::::ok bbe I’m sorry ..see you tomorrow

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Volume gents how far

When i Call My Parents And They Don’t Answer it’s No Big DEAL ✋😓 , But When They Call Me And i Don’t Answer it’s Like WORLD WAR III

My Dog Is Very Useless We Were Both Chased By Another Dog

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Lee’s wife, Sue, wasn’t wearing any underwear. Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Lee’s wife, Sue, followed and asked, ‘Did you see anything that you like under there?’

Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, he did.

Sue said, ‘Well, you can have it but it will cost you $250.’

Jim confirmed that he is very interested. Sue told him that since her husband Lee played golf Friday afternoons and Jim didn’t, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Lee’s house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum, they went to the bedroom, and Sue gave him a flipping great time. Jim quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Lee came home from golf at 6 p.m. and upon arriving, asked his wife: ‘Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?’

With a lump in her throat Sue answered, ‘Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.’ Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, ‘Did he give you $250?

Sue, using her best poker face, replied, ‘Well, yes, in fact he did.’

Lee, with a satisfied look on his face, continued, ‘Good. He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed $250 from me. He promised he’d stop by this afternoon and pay it back.’

Now THAT, my friends, is how poker should be played…

Top 10 Female rejection lines.
.
.
1. I think of you as a brother.
Translation: You give me the creeps.
2. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: I may as well be dating my dad.
3. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
Translation: I don’t want to be seen in
public with a dork like you.
4. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: I’m busy seeing other guys.
Who are you again?
5. I’ve got a boyfriend.
Translation: I’d rather be with my male cat
and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s.
6. I don’t date men where I work.
Translation: I wouldn’t date you if you were
in the same solar system, much less the
same building.
7. It’s not you, it’s me.
Translation: It’s you.
8. I’m concentrating on my career.
Translation: Even something as boring and
unfulfilling as my job
is better than dating you.
9. I’m saved, so my heart belongs to God.
Translation: I’ve sworn off men like you.
10. Let’s be friends.
Translation: I want you to stay around so I
can tell you in
excruciating detail about all the other men I
meet and go out with. I appreciate the male
perspective.
–
–
–
Top 10 Male rejection lines.
.
.
1. I think of you as a sister.
Translation: You’re ugly.
2. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: You’re ugly.
3. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
Translation: You’re ugly.
4. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: You’re ugly.
5. I’ve got a girlfriend.
Translation: You’re ugly.
6. I don’t date women where I work.
Translation: You’re ugly.
7. It’s not you, it’s me.
Translation: You’re ugly.
8. I’m concentrating on my career.
Translation: You’re ugly.
9. I’m saved, so my heart belongs to God.
Translation: You’re ugly.
10. Let’s be friends.
Translation: You’re totally ugly.

A guy sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.”
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. “You talk?” he asks. “Sure do,” the dog replies.

“Sooo, what’s your story?”

The dog looks up and says, “Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.”

“The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.” The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

The owner says, “Ten dollars.” The guy says, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”
“Cause he’s a liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff!!”

Did you know?
A Woman💁 will ask you for Money💰 even though she has it. Women don’t like to Spend their Own Money..

If your boyfriend says “I will marry you when the time is right”
Ask him if he has ever seen a wrong time.
Has he ever seen 7:60pm???

A relationship without a side chick is like a government without an opposition party. We need democracy in relationships

Teacher: Calvin name the animal start With the later D
Calvin : Dog style
Teacher: Nonsense now the letter T
Calvin : The Dog style

Ever looked at some facebook friends and be like
When did i accept u 🤔?
Did u break in?

Sleeping next to your new Bae for the first time is tough…
you have to breathe in English ..
.not too loud, not too deep and not too fast..

“I don’t date guys who don’t have cars”
says a girl who bath with soap
until it becomes size of a simcard

Indian movies are so fake; I started dancing at the market today
but nobody joined me.