CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE:
It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her master’s.

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees in the end.

SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

YAWN:
The only opportunity some married men
ever get to open their mouths.

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their mistakes.

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

OPTIMIST:
A person who, while falling from the EIFFEL TOWER, says midway:
“SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence afterward.

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills with pills and later with his bills.

Keep On Forgiving Him while You Are still Looking for Someone to Replace with

Dating a broke married man is a waste of sin my sister

I saw a homeless man sleeping in a tyre,
so I did him a favor and punctured it.
He’s now sleeping in a flat😼

A white man will kiss his wife to stop her from talking,
but try it with African woman
she will still talk inside your mouth 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Dnt hide yourselves When u see us at clinic
we are all sick no1 goes there to withdraw money

Dear ladies

Sometimes you have to call your man and say ” You thought I won’t find out?” then hang up, don’t pick up his callz wait for his confession. then thank me later😂

That Awkward Moment Umlungu Start Talking To You
and Your ENGLISH Is nowhere to be Found.

Once all the engineering
professors were sitting in one
plane Before the take off One
announcement came “this
plane is made by your students
” then all professors stood up,
ran and went outside, but the
principal was sitting. One guy
came and asked ” are you not
afraid ” then the principal
replied ” I trust my students
very well and I am sure the
plane won’t even start “

I’ve been single for too long,
sometimes i put a teddy bear on my bed
and sleep on the floor,
pretending my bae is mad at me..

Usualy i mind my own business but
when i see someone beefing on facebook
i read all 884 coments

CONFUSION is when Ur parents tell u that Sex before marriage is a sin but u appear in their wedding pictures..