I miss the days of asking my parents can I go out
Now I ask my wallet
And it always says No

IN HIGH SCHOOL YOU WERE WANTED TO BE A NURSE OR DOCTOR….
NOW YOU HAVE 5CHILDREN
I GUEES YoU ARE STILL DOING YOUR DREAM JOB

Just imagine telling your kids you met their mother
on Facebook Free mode

Your problems must not arrive on someone else’s pay day
that kind of witchcraft must end☝️

That moment when you come to your bae wearing panties with laces, and he just takes it off together with your jeans and throws them away behind the bed not bothering looking at it.

Imagine when you are about to give an offering in church with your last money and she texts you “buy con**** I’m on my way”. I swear the devil will win this battle with most guys.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but
“You’re not the main Chick..!”

Ey I Haven’t Watched Soccer For A While Yooh…
Please Is Roman Reigns Still Playing For Manchester City

The problem with Beautiful girls is that they think every guy wants them

During Lunch at work last week, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn’t). When I got home, My husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, “Daring I have a surprise for dinner tonight”He blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.i took a sit and just as he was about to remove my blindfold , the telephone rang .

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The beans I had consumed were effecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go .

It was not only loud , but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump !! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously, then , shifting to the other leg I ripped off three more

The stink was worse then Cooked cabbage, keeping my ears careful tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes

The pleasure was indescribable eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I can quickly fanned the air a few more times with napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it Feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My Face must have been the picture of innocent. When my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked me if had peaked through the blindfold and I assured him I had not

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table with their noses, chorused, ” Happy Birthday”.