From His Death Bed
Husband (Called His Wife And Said) : “One Month Before I Die I Want You
To Marry Gift ”
Wife:” Gift !!! But He Is Your Enemy !?”
Husband:” Yes ,I Know That !!! I’ve Suffered All These Years So Let Him Suffer Now “.
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Did u notice that guys who play instruments in church don’t give offering
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Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said: “I built a big house for our mother.”
The second said: “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”
The third said: “You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot recites it.”
Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks. “William,” she said, “the house you built is so huge. I live only in one room, but I have to clean the whole house.
“Arnold,” she said, “I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. And that driver is so rude! He’s a pain!”
“But David,” she said, “the chicken was delicious!”
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Nobody have the lowest voice than a guy
who is asking a girl for her phone number in a taxi/his..😉👌
•°•°••°•°•
Ladies am I lying??
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I can’t speak with Indians with red dot 🔴 on their forehead.
I feel like they are recording everything I say
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Why was the calendar nervous
Because its days were numbered
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Dear GIRLS…! When a guy adds u on facebook, it means he wants to b ur frnd not ur husband…That’s y its called a frnd request… not a proposal !!!…And when a guy likes ur status he likes your status…he s not trying to impress u or flirt with u …When a guy likes ur picture, that…means he likes ur picture not you so stop getting over excited
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When you leave🚶 the store without buying anything
and you’re telling yourself “act normal, you’re innocent”
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Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerburg, Donald Trump, myself*
and other *billionares* would like to
wish u a happy festive season
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Before Exam Boy To His Girl-Friend
Boy: “Hey, All The Best”
Girl-Friend: “All The Best To You Too”
But Girl Scored 80 Marks And Boy Failed.
Moral: Only Boys Wish With True Heart.
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When my side chick don’t wanna remove my name on her bio:
.
Me: I asked you so nice dear now i’m calling my lawyer
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Dear Ladies❤}
•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
You don’t owe anyone a tight
he who can’t swim shall drown and die..
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We are on Facebook for fun is either u joining us
or we hurt ur feelings…simple
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Learnership programme
The Taxi Industry(SANTACO)is offering a learnership programme, interested candidates must be high school drop outs,
Outstanding learners will receive a
>quantum
>leather jacket
>sjambok and all star shoes(socks are not allowed)
Purporse of the job
>To transport and insult passengers
>swearing at the public
Requirements
>skilled in spotting potholes
>Must be able to spot traffic cops from miles away
>Must speak only zulu
>Must own 2unlicensed firearms
>Knowledge of shortcuts
>Can count only if the money comes seat by seat and also count up to 16passengers
>Must also change money,change radio stations,exchange remarks and change lanes at all the time and stop anywhere anytime
>Knowing english
(short left short right &stop sign)
is an advantage
To apply go to your nearest
taxi rank and ask for babu’ Mkhize..
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Remember growing up saying “I want to
be a pilot”.
20 years later the only thing you do related
to airplanes is FLIGHT MODE on your phone.
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I once ran 100 metres in about 12 seconds and the only witness was
the dog that was chasing me
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