Money is important in A Relationship ,
Let’s Stop Lying To Each Other

Today’s weather, may cause couples to forget about COVID-19. And be like: “If i die i die, babe am coming”..!

TEACHER: Tomato is a Fruit or a Vegetable?
ME: It’s Bisexual sir😄

He suspended me for 3 weeks

A man calls a radio show during
dedication time.
Man:am calling to report abt a lost
n found item.
Presenter:Go on.
Man:I picked a wallet tht contains
a gold watch,50 k notes n an ID
wth a name Richard Onyango
Presenter:So, yu want me to help
you find the owner?
Man:No!I want to dedicate him
the song U SAVED ME by R. Kelly.

Going To Bed the other night

I noticed people in my shed stealing things.

I phoned the police but was told no one was in the area to help me. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible.

I hung up

A minute later I rang again.

“Hello”, i said , ” I Called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed , you don’t have to hurry now ,because I’ve shot them “…

Within Minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area plus Helicopters and armed response unit.

They caught the bundars red-handed

one of the officers said : ” I thought you said you’d shot them.

To Which I replied: “I thought you said there was no one available”.

Why do people think u gotta heal after a breakup?
Im not injured! ..Next!

Two mad men organised to run away🏃 from the mental Hospital, they started planning and agreed that they will go to the gate , beat up the security😎 then open the gate and run away
….. When they reached the gate the security was not there and the gate was wide open …they said “SHIT our plan has failed
, let’s go back we’ll try again tomorrow”

Ladies, Are Guys With Six Packs Still A Thing For You
Or You’ve Grown Up Now??

If you want an argument with your girlfriend to get intense,
just say “My mother was right about you”

Imagine someone who doesn’t buy you data,
complaining of late replies and responses.

Every problem comes with a solution,
if it does not have any solution! Its a woman

Black people with white man’s names,
go to home affairs now ,
we wont acknowledge you
when the land is being redistributed