Imagine you in church and this SMS comes in”,
your uncle is drinking ur 🍺 beers”

If i said “I’ll call you back”….I will call u back…
no need to get upset after one year…

If your boyfriend has Alot of female cousins.
Trust me you are also his cousin.

Beauty has sent a lot of girls into marriage
but character is busy packing them out!

Dear Girls.
When we send you smses and you blue tick us, you must know that we are moving on.
We cant be waiting for Jesus and be waiting for you too. Never.

5 ways for man to be completely happy.
1. Be with a woman who makes you laugh
2. Be with a woman who gives you her time
3. Be with a woman who takes care of you
4. Be with a woman who really loves you
5. Finally, make sure these four women don’t know each other!

PURE WITCHCRAFT IS WHEN YOUR PARTNER DUMPS U IN AN AREA THAT HAS A SIGN THAT SAYS ‘NO DUMPING’

Screenshots don’t scare me shame
I have denied voice notes before

A dog walked in to the telegram office one day. He took out a blank form and wrote on it:
“Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

Then he handed it to the clerk. The clerk examined the paper and said to the dog, “You know there are only nine words here? You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

The dog replied, “But that would make no sense at all!”

Am i the only one who write grocery list and
save pictures on person’s contacts who blocked me on WhatsApp

The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: “I’m afraid we’re going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you.” “Well, if it’s just because of them, I’d rather pay for them if you just leave me alone!”

Not being born into a rich family was my first financial mistake.
Its been downhill since.