Those girls that put their whole stomach in leggins….
are u a kangaroo?
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Husband : Honey Let’s Play Hide And Seek?
Wife : No, Last Time We Played It I Couldn’t Find You
And You Came Back 15 February!!!
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Height of Coolness: Finishing the paper Coming out of the exam hall,
Having a cold drink And asking a friend:
Dude, which paper was it?
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A Catholic Priest was dying in a hospital and asked the doctor to call a Police Officer & a politician .Within minutes, the two appeared. He asked them to sit on either side of the bed. The priest held their hands n kept quiet. The guys were so touched and at the same time felt very important for being summoned by a priest in his dying moment. Out of anxiety, the politician ask, ‘But why did you call us? ‘ The priest gathered all his strength and said, ‘Jesus died between two thieves…..I want to go the same way!!!!!!!!!!!”
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Dear slender girls!
Stop putting your bra’s on the washing line to dry………
Why???????👇
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Look like sun glasses
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*U CANNOT give a woman everything she needs. If God Himself gave them eyebrows, they shave it and draw their own. God gave them nails, they cut it off and fixed their own, God gave them hair, they cut it off and fixed their own,He gave them breast, they repackage it to the size and shape they want. God gave the lips, every morning they paint it with different colours of lip stick*
*If even God can’t satisfy them then who are U to think that you can please them ? 😂😂. My brother don’t kill yourself*
Let’s drink kkkkkkkkkk
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My neighbour bought a sound system for the first time
now he’s calling his kids using a Mic
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Conversation between a Teacher and Mbula….
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Teacher : Assume your in the jungle and a lion is about to attack you,what will you do.?
Mbula : I will stop assuming.
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That moment when you are happy and enjoying your day and
you hear that your friend bought a brand new car
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Early morning husband woke up and ask his wife: “Would you like to join me for jogging?”
Wife: “Ohh! So you mean to say I am fat?”
Hubby: “No. Jogging is good for health.”
Wife: “Oh . . . that means I am sick.”
Hubby: “No no. If you don’t want to get up, then it’s OK . . . ”
Wife: “So now you think I am lazy, ha?”
Hubby: “Nooo! You are misunderstanding me. I didn’t mean.”
Wife: “Aha! So I don’t understand you because I’m an illiterate, right?”
Hubby: “Now look I didn’t say that.”
Wife: “So am I lying? ”
Hubby: I beg you please don’t stretch it in the morning”
Wife: “Oh, now so I am a quarrelsome nag, abi?
HUBBY: “Ok ok . . . You go off to sleep. I am going jogging alone . . . happy now?.”
Wife: “You always go alone everywhere and enjoy yourself.”
Hubby: “Please, please. I am feeling giddy now ”
Wife: “See? You are so selfish. Always think of yourself alone. You never think of my health.”
Grrrrrr . . . Husband is sitting and thinking where he went wrong.
Dedicated to all married men . . .
Thank you for always being patient with your wives . .
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January has been so long , even babies who’s born on New year’s eve are starting grade 1 today
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Two people who are causing problems in the world/;
A RICH guy
A beautiful woman
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Most ladies don’t know how to chat, they
just answer questions.
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A woman wanted to reach her
husband on his mobile phone
but discovered that she was
out of credit; she instructed
her son – to use his own
phone to pass across an
urgent message to daddy who
is at site.
After the son had called, he
got back to mummy to inform
her that it was a lady that
picked up daddy’s phone the
three times he tried reaching
dad on the mobile.
(Women!!)
She waited impatiently for her
husband to return from site,
immediately she sighted him,
she gave him a very hard slap,
while the man was trying to
ask why? She repeated the
slap, people from
neighborhood rushed around
to know the cause of this.
The man asked his son to tell
everybody what the lady said
to him when he called,
son said:
“The number u are trying to
call is not reachable at the
Moment. Please Try Again
Later”.
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Love used to be blind but now
it has received its treatment.
Now it looks at u, ur pocket, ur family &
social status & even ur bank account balance too.
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If a girl dumps you because you don’t have money and after you have made money…she comes back begging…
My brother…Forgive her…promise her marriage…Tell her family that you want to renovate their house…Remove their roof and DISAPPEAR…
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