A Boy Post : Just graduated , I’m going to be a Lawyer =13Likes
.
A Girl Post : Just went to the toilet = 227Likes
.
WTF is happening to this WORLD ??

Going To Bed the other night

I noticed people in my shed stealing things.

I phoned the police but was told no one was in the area to help me. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible.

I hung up

A minute later I rang again.

“Hello”, i said , ” I Called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed , you don’t have to hurry now ,because I’ve shot them “…

Within Minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area plus Helicopters and armed response unit.

They caught the bundars red-handed

one of the officers said : ” I thought you said you’d shot them.

To Which I replied: “I thought you said there was no one available”.

Fat girls be like…

He broke my heart..

But I broke his bed.

1-1

During this lockdown many Parents have seen that
teachers are not a problem, their kids are..! 🤞

Work hard until you get rich to the extent that
when you see a cockroach in your house,
Instead of killing it.You just move out&buy new house..

*WE ARE BLACK AND WE DONT CARE WHAT THEY THINK OF US**
.

-We call every toothpaste COLGATE
We don’t care
-We call every cooking oil FISH OIL
We are proud
-We point at an empty chair and ask “Who’s sitting there ”
We are like that
-We call every cold drinks COKE
We don’t care
-We steal your belongings and help you look for them
We are just like that
-We name our dogs TIGER or Spider
We don’t give a f**k
-We promise to stab you with a slap or bare hand
We are sometimes strange
-We eat a fruit an expect to be healthy at the same time
We don’t care
-When electricity goes we go out and,check if it’s the whole street
We are just like that
-We blame atchar for smelling armpits even if we didn’t bath
We are sometimes weird
-We use a bar of soap till it looks like a Sim card
We don’t have a problem
-We buy something,skip instruction&ask neighbors how it’s used
We don’t care
-We withdraw money from an ATM then count it 3x before going
We are cautious
-We lock the car then try to open it 2 times before going
We are like that
-We pay R500 to a sangoma so we can know who stole R50
We are sometimes weird
-We turn off the volume just to smell what’s burning
We are like that
-When we go out we turn on the lights just to confuse thieves
We are smart
-We share beers and cigarettes but we don’t share opportunities
We are sometimes selfish
We are proud to be black and we love ourselves like that

I think my girlfriend is selling Goats
and never bothered to tell me about it
because a guy just texted her now
ask if the goat is still around

A mom visits her son🙂 for dinner who lives with a girl 🙄as a roommate😶. When they were eating, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty his roommate was😐. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two and this had only made her more curious🤔. Over the course of the evening while watching the two interact😑, she started to wonder if there’s more between him and his roommate.🤨 Reading his mom’s thought, his son volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking😆, but I assure you, we are just roommates💁‍♂️.” About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver plate💁‍♀️. You don’t suppose your mother took it, do you😐? He said, “Well I doubt it, but I’ll email her just to be sure😕!”
He sat down and wrote,😆

Dear mom,😊
After your visit me, the silver plate has been missing.🙄 I’m not saying that you did take the silver plate from my house🙂, and I’m not saying that you didn’t take it, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.😶
Love,
Your son.🙂

Several days later, he received an email from his mother which
read:😁

Dear Son,
I’m not saying that you do sleep with your roommate😑, and I’m not saying that you don’t sleep with her✋: but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow.💁‍♀️
Love,
Mom😅

I Don’t Know Who Needs To Hear This But Unless
He Wears A Diaper You Can’t Change Him

Apart from Castle Lite & Facebook Lite 😊
.
Which other Beer 🍺 do you know?

Refusing to send Transport Money has made some guys👮 to lose their future wives👧. My brother, Be wise and send that money now

When your hands touch your bae’s phne whr do u start??

Me: Calender

When you’ve already said Goodnight😪 to your girlfriend👵
–
Boom your crush is online📲
You’ll be left with no choice but to tell your girlfriend something like
“Babe I’m giving the phone to my little brother now, he wanna chat with his girlfriend”