Since the day I caught my landlord banging his neighbours wife,
I ‘ve not been paying rent for 6 months now
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Client: Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence.
Me: You mean … the period?
Client: I don’t care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it.
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Acting “surprised”😮 when you get a plate of food🥗at someone’s house is very important! 👌
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Two Wealthy Men were debating about whether having sex is
hard work or pleasure, and they couldn’t come up with one answer.
One of them decided to call the Garden boy and asked him the question,
“Is sex pleasure or hard work?”
After thinking deeply about this, the Garden boy replied “Sex is pleasure, Boss”
One of the Rich guys asked the Garden boy why he said so.
Garden boy responded, “because, boss, if sex was hard work you would have asked me to do it for you!”
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One day some friends dropped in on a couple without warning for a cup of tea. The wife pulled the husband aside & said, “There’s no sugar in the house, how can I serve tea?”
The husband winked at her & said, “Make tea without sugar for all, leave the rest to me.”
As soon as the tea was served the husband says to the guests, “Let’s play a game of chance. One cup of tea has no sugar, who ever gets it will take us all for dinner tonight.”
The result?
All guests claimed they had never tasted such sweet tea!
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During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
“Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?” ☺
Michael said: ‘Just a minute I have to go pee.’ 😠
The teacher responded by saying: ‘That would be rude and impolite’
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?’
Sherman said: ‘I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.’ 😶
‘That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. 😏
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners? 😠
Johnny said: ‘I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.’ 😳😳
The teacher fainted..
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I Swear If Some Parents Could See
What Their Daughters Are Doing To Us
In Our Bedrooms They’ll Die Via Heart Attack true
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That moment when you are happy and enjoying your day and
you hear that your friend bought a brand new car
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Raise Your Hand If You Also Have That One Chair In Your Room
That’s Always Full Of Clothes
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Women Have This Hidden Talent Called ”
Let me make him upset today ”
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When you see cockroaches in your house
just know you have food.
Cockroaches are like slay queens
they don’t like poverty
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When they see a ‘White Man’ with a laptop
they see businessman but ‘Black Man’ they see a DJ
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Guy if she tells u she has a
Boyfriend know it Dat u are
Fighting with one man but
If she said she is single my
Brother u are fighting with d
World
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No Matter How Old You Are, If A Little Kid Hands You
A Toy Phone You Answer It.
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When Your Life Is In Darkness,
Pray God And Ask Him To Free You From Darkness.
Even After You Pray, If Your Still In Darkness,
Please Pay The Electricity Bill.
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There’s No Girl Who Cheats Like A Girl
Who Stays With Her Grandmother.
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