Facebook is meant for chatting but since girls don’t reply to our messages, we are now Comedians and it is working.
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A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to
appreciate his cleverness and
just stupid enough to admire it.
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Once The Conversation Moves From Messenger to WhatsApp…
Forget chatting, you’re just going to look at each other’s statuses..!
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Everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions.
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Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.
Man: I want to share everything with you.
Woman: Let’s start from your bank account
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I was dreaming urinating in th the toilet,
as I woke up I found my blankets wet ,
I don’t know who the hell poured water on my bed!!! M so pissed
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Dear ladies …
Open the gifts not your legs. It’s Christmas not sexmas…
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When you are at the market and you saw your girlfriend twin sister and you go to her for a kiss and your girlfriend was rite beside you
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A teacher asked her class
“What is sex?”
Johnny got up and said:
“Sex is a *temptation* ,
caused by a *sensation*
where a boy sticks his *location*
into a girl’s *destination*
to increase the *population*
of the next *generation* .
Did you get my *explanation* ?
Or do you need a *demonstration* ?
The teacher fainted
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I said I’ll Pay You At The End Of The Month,
I Didn’t Say Which Month
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I HAVE NEVER BEEN CONFUSED IN
MY LIFE LIKE
THIS.
Two men met at a bus stop and
struck up a
conversation.
One of them kept complaining
about family
problems.
Finally the other man said, “you
think you have
family
problems? Listen to my
situation.”
“A few years ago I met a young
widow with a
grown up
daughter and we got married.
Later my father
married my
stepdaughter. That made my
stepdaughter my
stepmother
and my father became my
stepson.
Also my wife became mother in
law of her
father in law.
Then the daughter of my wife,
my stepmother
had a son.
This boy was my half brother
because he was
my father’s
son but he was also the son of
my wife’s
daughter, which
made him my wife’s grandson.
That made me
the
grandfather of my half brother.
This was nothing until my wife
and I had a son.
Now the half
sister of my son, my stepmother
is also the
grandmother.
This makes my father the brother
in law of my
child, whose
step sister is my fathers wife.
Thus I am my
stepmother’s
brother in law, my wife is her
own child’s aunt,
my son is my
father’s nephew and I’m my own
grandfather.
And you think you have family
problems?
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Some people will say Africa is not united, our countries went to the world cup together and came back together. So which unity is more than that???
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What is Reunion? Reunion is when you tell your Wife you are going to work nd you go to your neighbour’s Wife to make love with her.. Her Husband comes back, knocks on the door!!😨 You go hide under the bed😥 The wife Start feeling the pressure nd decides to go to the market to buy some food items.. Then the husband takes advantage of his Wife’s absence nd decides to call your Wife😨.. She comes over nd they make Love.. The other Woman forget the list she made for the food she’s going to buy… She knocks on the door, Your Wife panics nd decides to hide under the bed where you hiding😨😨 Now that’s what we call REAL REUNION
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Teacher: tell 1 to 10 count
Student: 1,2,3,4,5,7,8,9,10
Teacher: where is six
Student: Sir was telling in TV that 6 deaths in swine flu
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PURE WITCHCRAFT IS WHEN YOUR PARTNER DUMPS U IN AN AREA THAT HAS A SIGN THAT SAYS ‘NO DUMPING’
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When you thought you’re done washing the dishes
and you turn around to see those pots on stove!
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